


Sanders Sides Oneshots (because why not?)

by Superfluous_Slytherin



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Birthday Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Touch-Starved, could be gayer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-08-13 23:13:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16481573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfluous_Slytherin/pseuds/Superfluous_Slytherin
Summary: I tend to write a lot of stand alone one shots in my spare time so I figured I'd compile them into one place.Will contain AUs and head canons. Different one-shots may have conflicting head canons but keep in mind, none of them are related or in the same "universe" unless specifically stated.Most of these will not be connected in any way but there will occasionally be a two or three parter.A lot of angst with equal amounts of fluff and an unnecessary amount of Virgil and Remy. Remy is considered a side in most of these but not always. I'm planning to write him more as a function in the future.Feel free to leave requests for me! I can’t promise that I will write all that you suggest but I will attempt to write as much as possible.Currently On Hold because I lost motivation recently. I have the beginnings of several written but I am struggling to finish them as they are pretty long. Hopefully I'll be back soon





	1. Love (Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virge has trouble saying a certain L word during “Learning New Things About Ourselves” And he disappears into his room afterwards to panic. Princey worries about him and follows him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> * A very light description of the beginnings of an anxiety attack.  
> * Self deprivation because Virgil’s a sad boy  
> Little bit of making out there at the end but it’s PG 13 at the most
> 
> Set after, “Learning New Things About Ourselves”.

Love  
“But when you lo- care for someone, nothing hurts more than their scorn.”  
Virgil’s hands were shaking a little. Okay, a lot. He couldn’t believe he’d said that out loud. He appeared in his room and was relieved to find it was different from Thomas’ living room, as he had wanted. It was an actually bedroom with a bed and dark lights and curtain and blankets. His bedroom, one that he'd created years ago. And while it was near pitch black, it was safe. It was what he needed. He’d done something risky and possibly stupid so he needed a place to wallow and panic for a while. He collapsed onto the bed, staring at his shaking hands.  
He had admitted it. Everything. Everything that had been hurting him for so long. He'd let go, stopped hiding all the pain that stabbed him every day like thorns in his chest. And that was good. He knew it was good. After all, the others were always there to support him and help him, so why not let them? He'd opened himself up to them and it felt good. Except that he’d almost messed everything up all over again.  
_Love_  
Dammit, why couldn’t he say it? Just one little word? Just a word. That’s all. A word that was so simple, yet so hard to say. He hated himself for not being able to say it. The lights in his room flickered dangerously with his emotions. That tended to happen a lot, especially when he was distressed.  
Because it was true, was it not? He loved Thomas, he was part of him after all. Although, he didn't just love him because the man was his host. No, Virgil would've loved Thomas even if he hadn't been a part of him. Virgil just wanted to protect Thomas and keep him away from anything that could hurt him. He wanted Thomas happy, despite all his worries. That was how he loved his host.  
He loved Patton because he was his friend and.....alright, maybe kind of a dad. He liked the fatherly figure, even if he babied him. Which he had told Patton he didn’t like. Virgil groaned and dropped his head into his hands. Did he mess everything up? Although the lights dimmed again, Virgil lifted and shook his head. No, Patton loved him and he’d been kind enough to stop when Virgil asked. And that’s part of why Virgil loved him. Who wouldn’t love Patton? Logan certainly did.  
Virgil loved him too, despite his small quarrels with the brainy side. He was logical and mostly friendly, even when he was debating with the others. And even when Logan was cold and less than agreeable as he’d been today, he had good intentions. He got a little over the top sometimes, but so did Virgil. He always attempted to help keep Virgil calm with facts, which he was grateful for. Logan too, wanted to protect Thomas and help him. So ya, he would admit that he loved Logan.  
And....  
Prince. He.... this part was hard to say. The bubbly, loud, and sometimes wild personality was a strange story. He was originally rather cold towards Virgil, more so than the others. He scorned him, he insulted him, but lately, everything was different. He seemed happy to see Virgil instead of disgusted. The nicknames came with a more teasing tone than a hurtful one. His smiles were kind instead of condescending. Even now, Virgil could feel his heart doing flips just thinking of that smile, another thing that has come up recently. Not that he would ever let the Prince know he had that affect on him. That he...  
Could he say it? Could he even admit it in the safety of his own mind (albeit inside of Thomas' mind)? That Princey- no. Roman. He was Roman, a name that was regal and so fitting that it took Virgil’s breath away. Why was this the hardest to say? It had been so easy with the other and yet as he imagined Romans kind eyes staring at him, he froze. He’d frozen and backed out even in puppet form with just puppet eyes looking at him. Why couldn’t he say that he..... That he..... God, Virgil was even annoying himself now. He couldn't even finish a thought about the creative personality anymore.  
“Virge?” The anxious personality jumped as his thoughts seemed to conjure the fanciful personality into his doorway and he panicked, wondering if he accidentally summoned him. It was completely possible, although it usually didn't happen unless they were speaking. Had he been speaking? He couldn't even remember anymore.  
“Oh uh, hey Princey.” He said before the silence got awkward, his fist clenching around the sheets of his bed to still their shaking. He could feel his nails pressing against his skin through the blanket but ignored it.  
Romans eyes flitted to them instantly and a look of concern and pity washed over his face. Virgil flinched and it disappeared, replaces by an apologetic look. He relaxed gratefully. That was another thing Roman has gotten better at. Realizing he didn’t want, or need, his pity.  
“Are you okay Tyler Woesiph?” Roman asked curiously. As Virgil opened his mouth, Roman shook his head. “I know the answer. “You’re not okay. (You Promise).”  
Virgil blinked in surprise. Either Roman was a good guesser or a mind reader. _Or he knows you too well._ A small voice whispered, which Virgil ignored.  
“Let me rephrase that.” Roman said. “How are you doing? Do you wanna talk after... well, everything that happened today?”  
“Did Patton put you up to this?” Virgil asked instantly, unable to stop himself. Because no matter how nice Roman was, or how much Virgil secretly wanted it, he didn’t care enough to check in Virgil. After all, Virgil was still anxiety and anxiety only got in the way.  
“No.” Then again, Virgil had been wrong before. Perhaps... “But he’ll be happy I am. He’s worried about you too.” Virgil lowered his eyes back to his blanket.  
“I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I’m fine.” He promised, which was met with a deafening silence. The pause seemed to last forever, even if it was only a few seconds, and the anxious personality couldn't help but shrink back into his jacket a little  
“No, you’re not.” Roman insisted gently.  
“Why can’t I be fine?”  
“You aren’t looking at me.”  
Virgil frowned and wrenched his head up in defiance. The regal personality now leaned on the edge of his bed, level with his eyes. When he moved, Virgil didn’t know.  
“Happy?” Roman's gaze was intense and Virgil shifted. "Why is it so important."  
"I was trying to tell what you were thinking."  
Roman sighed and eased himself down onto the edge of the bed. Virgil had half the mind to eject him from the room to escape that suddenly knowledgeable look, but settled for glaring at him instead. He didn’t know why. Maybe because part of him knew he didn’t want to be alone right now.  
“Virgil, I didn’t come to fight.” The use of his name made him release the sheets in surprise, his hands unclenching, leaving his knuckles white. “I really am worried about you. All that stuff you said about us hating you.... Scorning you...”  
“I’m over it Princey. I told you, I learned not to keep all of that in anymore.”  
Roman eyed him with an emotion Virgil couldn’t place.  
“Just because you stop picking at a scab doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” The prince said softly, picking up one of Virgil’s hands cautiously and running his fingers over the nail marks left on his palm from some of his episodes. Some part of the anxious personality was glad he didn’t hold his hand tightly, so he could pull it away if necessary, giving him a choice, but most of him ignored it. That bigger part of him was more occupied by his annoyance.  
“It means they’ll go away.” Virgil shot back and Roman sighed but he carried on anyway. “You’re too philosophical. Have you been hanging out with Logan?” He teased playfully. Which was odd. Maybe some of Romans confidence was getting to him. Either way, it was better to tease the prince than break down in front of him. Well, break down more than he already had.  
“I nearly cut his face off during the video so I doubt he would like to hang out with me and trade philosophies.” Roman laughed softly. “Besides, a Prince has to be wise. I'm not all looks.”  
“You threatened Patton too.” He pointed out. “Do you always have that sword?”  
“Maybe.” Virgil rolled his eyes at the fanciful Sides reply.  
“This just keeps getting weirder and you keep getting lamer.”  
Roman shook his head with a laugh before quieting. “I guess we’re all getting a lot of revelations today.”  
Virgil winced. He'd hoped the subject had been forgotten. “We’re back to this?”  
“Verge, we care about you.” Roman said softly and Virgil dropped his eyes again.  
“I told you-“  
“You’re fine.” Roman sighed. “We both know that’s a lie.”  
“May-“ Virgil clamped his mouth shut before he said something he regretted. Roman seemed to realize he wasn’t going to finish his thought because he continued on.  
“Virgil, I don’t think I ever.....apologized for all the things I’ve said. I guess I just never thought about... I didn’t realize it hurt you so much.” Virgil didn’t reply, scared of what he would say, or confess. “Verge, you've got to look at me. I can't ever tell what you're thinking otherwise."  
Roman scooted closet and reached forward slowly with one hand and cupped his chin, raising his head to meet their eyes again. Virgil felt his breath catch in his throat. They were close, way closer than they’d ever been. With anyone else, he would be panicking already but he didn’t. Maybe it was because he trusted Roman or perhaps it was because Roman was unconsciously projecting confidence into him. He didn't know why, but he knew he liked not being completely paralyzed by fear for once.  
“I really am sorry.” Roman said softly. “I don’t want you to think... think that I enjoyed hurting you. I don’t- god I don’t know where I’m going with this.” Roman dropped his head a little dramatically before raising it again, but still not meeting his eyes. “I don’t want you to hate me for that.”  
Virgil blinked slowly, which Roman seemed to mistake for annoyance.  
“Really, all the nicknames and- well, I didn’t meant the things I said-“  
“I don’t hate you.” Virgil cut him off with soft words.  
“You don’t?” Roman asked in confusion. “But... I thought that....”  
“I never hated you. Sure you were self righteous and annoying but...”  
“But?” Roman asked softly.  
Virgil took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. Was he really doing this? Roman squeezes his hand in an encouraging manner and courage welled up inside him. Odd. He hadn’t even realized Roman was still holding it. And now he knew Roman was definitely giving him confidence, whether he noticed or not, but he didn’t fight it.  
“I...” his words caught again as Romans eyes sparkled curiously. Even with all of Romans confidence, he couldn’t say it. “Fuck it.” Virgil breathed.  
Virgil leaned forward, grabbing Romans sash and pulling him closer, slamming their lips together. The second their lips touched, a range of emotions flooded the darker personality. The first was, unsurprisingly, Anxiety.  
How’d he do this? Was this really him or just Romans confidence? He’d not planned this or given warning. What if Roman didn’t want this? And yet, the second Romans lips responded, the anxiety subsided. Instead, it was bliss. His hands tightened around the Prince’s sash as the royal personality slipped his hands gently into his hair. Virgil’s lungs screamed for air and be pulled away, just barely, and saw Roman smile.  
“I’m sorry.” Virgil breathed. “I should’ve asked or-or-or-“  
“Virgil.” One hand stroked his hair while the other rugged on his hoodie strings. “Shut up and kiss me. Please.”  
Virgil obliged, smiling despite himself. After a few seconds, Roman shifted him gently, pushing him down onto his back without breaking the kiss, until he was holding himself above Virgil. The hoodie clad personality allowed it for a few seconds before his chest tightened and anxiety flooded him all over again.  
Too fast. All too fast. Even with all of Roman's courage practically filling the room, it was still Anxiety's room and that meant his fear never left him. It overpowered Roman's presence and jerked him back into a mindset closer to his normal one. His brain started whirling, looking for a way out of this situation. His heart started beating faster until he was sure it would break out of his chest.  
Roman felt him tense and rolled to the side, breaking the kiss and releasing him as he sat up next to Virgil.  
“Apologies. I.... I didn’t mean... I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I don’t normally do... well, this.”  
Virgil gave a breathless shrug, his heart rate slowly falling back to normal.  
“I’m sorry. It was just all too fast. And I got scared and.... And I know it was kinda my fault because I kissed you and I shouldn't be complaining and I....”  
Roman smirked, cutting him off gently. “I didn’t exactly try to stop you.”  
Virgil blushed and pushed himself up, bracing himself on his arms. “Really Roman, I don’t hate you. I... I lo-“ Virgil dropped his head into his hands with a groan. “I want to say it but I just can’t. Roman...”  
“I know.” Roman reassured him. “You don’t have to say it. I know.”  
Virgil lifted his head and smiled weakly. “Thank you.”  
Roman nodded and pushed himself to his feet slowly.  
“I better go before Patton gets worried.” He stores confidently across the room before pausing in the doorway and glancing back. “If you want, I can show you how a prince kisses when he’s prepared sometime.” Roman teases before ducking out, leaving Virgil shaking his head in laughter.  
“God he’s lame.” He chuckled, ignoring his reddening cheeks as he flopped onto his pillow with a happy little sigh.  
“If I have to watch you dream about him, I’ll be sick. Nice make-out session though, Boo.”  
Virgil jumped as a sun glass clad face smirked down at him in amusement.  
“Remy? How... how long have you been there?” He asked, attempting to catch his breath.  
“Only long enough to see the last bit.” Remy clambered onto the bed and say cross legged on the end expectantly. “Wait!”  
Remy flocked his wrist and two Starbucks drinks appeared in his hands. He handed one to Virgil as he sat up and smiled.  
“We Gucci.” Remy smiled. “Now, spill it girl. Details, facts, fantasies, DREAMS! Don’t you dare hold out on me. I wanna know how my best friends making out with the prince!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me for mistakes you cowards.


	2. The Power Of A Good Nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has a lot of problems and Remys a little lovable sh*t who’s trying his best and cares about him.i  
> A little bit of implied Prinxiety but it can be taken as platonic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Self deprecating thought.  
> Depressed and possibly suicidal thoughts/attempt (I say possibly because he never intended to die, only to lose his physical form and revert back to just being an emotion)  
> Mentions of anxiety/panic attacks

The Power of a Good Nap  
Virgil was powerful. He knew that, as did the others. It wasn’t like he could deny it when they’d seen just how powerful he was in person.   
Well, in manifestation, since they weren’t technically people.  
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, although they knew of his power, they didn’t know the extent of which it could go. Mostly because Virgil himself didn’t know. He’d never actively tried to test the limits of his powers, but he got the gist of things.  
He could control Thomas, make him listen to him. He could drown out the others, making his voice the loudest and the most noticeable. He almost never did it on purpose though. It mostly happened whenever he was dangerously close, or already experiencing, an Anxiety or Panic attack. It corrupted his voice, driving it to be deeper and louder, but it also went deeper than just his voice, only getting more complicated as it did.  
The personalities were made up of strings of individual energies that allowed them to maintain a physical form, even in the mindscape. This energy was strong as long as Thomas was and was as light, or good, as he was. And yet, as Virgil’s voice grew more corrupt, he could practically see his energy shifting. Tendrils of darkness wove themselves into him, sometimes growing so much that he worried they’d swallow him all together.  
The tendrils weren’t some unknown force, though he often wished they were. Virgil knew that it was just a part of him, something that came from his unique position in the mindscape. He was pulling off a delicate balance, on the line between a “light side” as Roman had dubbed the main three, and a “dark side”. He was fight or flight, neither good nor bad, no matter how heightened he was inside Thomas. And yet, every time his anxiety grew out of control, the darkness seemed to tug even more strongly within him. He refused to be like that.  
A dark side.   
He’d been to the darker parts of the mindscape, of course. His neutrality allowed him to prowl every inch of Thomas’ mind with no resistance. For a time, he’d felt most at home with the dark sides. The first time he’d manifested himself into Thomas' video, he’d finally begun to think of himself as one. Virgil now realized that it had been Deceit whispering in his ear, driving his self-loathing and self-deprivation forward until it nearly destroyed him.  
He nearly destroyed himself.   
The day Thomas filmed the two part video, Accepting Anxiety, was supposed to be his last day. He was hurting Thomas, hurting the others. He wasn’t needed. Why should he stick around just to be scorned and insulted and hated? And so he’d left. He has buried himself under the layers of Thomas’ subconscious and waited to dissolve into it, becoming just a formless emotion yet again. True, if Thomas knew how, he could’ve reformed his body and brought him back but Virgil was counting on him to be happy without him. And yet, he wasn’t.  
There were voices in his room. He could hear them now, even after the subconscious had started stripping away his energy. His legs were becoming see-through and he couldn't feel them anymore. Before long, it would travel up his body until it devoured all of them. And yet, his ears still worked so he could hear their voices bouncing in his room. He'd planned to ignore it, to let them search until they realized he was gone, but something else had other plans.  
As suddenly as a lightning strike, hands grabbed his. It was like a jolt of touching cold water, a strange familiarity flowing through him. Instantly, his mind exploded in confusion. There should’ve been no one else here, no one to witness his demise. And yet, the hands were firm in his and they yanked him upwards, back out of the subconscious, where he hit the ground hard.  
He couldn’t have blacked out for more than a few seconds but when he opened his eyes again, he was alone. He blinked around in confusion, the steadily growing voices of the others in his room making it hard to concentrate. He was in a hallway that he vaguely recognized. It was one of the many corridors leading between the light and dark sides of the mind. Specifically, the one closest to his room. His door stood at the end of the passage, light flitting out from under it.  
He knew it was his without looking terribly close. They all had unique doors to their rooms. Roman’s was much like the door in a castle, with an iron ring as the door handle and mythical creatures carved into the wood. Logan’s was a simple, weighted wood door that was dark and perfectly geometrical with the doorknob in the shape of a brain. It was bare except for the occasional note Patton left taped to it, reminding him to eat or take a break. In return, Logan often slipped long handed essay like responses back under the light colored door belonging to the paternal side. It was a white door with a heart shaped window and curtains that allowed him to glance into the hallway, and a little bit of chipped paint where Patton sometimes tripped into it.  
The door at the end of this hallway was a black door with a golden handle, and a strange bit of lighter wood that resembled a lighting mark down the middle.  
Virgil furrowed his eyebrows. Someone had saved him and dropped him right in front of his door. Someone who could walk the passages without getting hurt, who cared enough to save him. But who? As far as he knew, he was the only one who had access to these passageways. He turned in a slow circle, the message of the being who saved him already becoming clear. They wanted him alive. But why? And suddenly, it was as though wool had been removed from his ears. Thomas. Thomas was in his room, talking to Roman, Patton, and Logan. But how? And why? It was too dangerous!  
Virgil’s fear for his host overpowered his curiosity of who saved him as he phased into his room, desperate to get them out.  
He had mostly forgotten about his mysterious savior after that, too caught up in adjusting to life as a “Light side”. And yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling of familiarity that had come over him when those hands touched his. And after his near nervous breakdown after they’d gotten trapped in Patton’s room, he’d started thinking of his savior again.  
Someone familiar, yet it hadn’t been any of the three mains or the dark sides because he’d been dropped in the “between lands” as Virgil referred to it. Someone who deemed the anxious personality fit to live, to be saved. Someone who could not have been new to the mindscape. The passages closest to his room were the most confusing and easy to get lost in so they would’ve obviously had to know where they were going.  
That was how Virgil ended up standing in front of a door to a room he’d long thought had been abandoned. It was solid wood, with vines trailing down over the door handle and the hinges, moss creeping ever slowly up the door, and plants growing around the bottom of the doorway. On the door was a simple carving, also covered in moss. A crescent moon.  
Virgil braced himself and knocked softly on the door. He half expected it to creak open like a horror movie but it stood firm. Silence met his knock and his stomach clenched. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was abandoned. He took a step back to retreat when the door was practically flung open.  
“Virge! Long time, no tea spilt sis!” Virgil flinched at the flamboyant tone of the side that stood before him. Remy.  
He looked exactly like Virgil remembered, if a bit older. Which was no surprise seeing as it had been nearly 10 years. A leather jacket and skinny jeans with sunglasses to hide the dark bags under his eyes and a Starbucks drink in hand were all too familiar. It was all he could do not to completely get swept back to the last time he’d seen the aloof side.  
They’d been relatively close when they were younger. Perhaps it was because they could both occupy the between lands, or perhaps because Anxiety often drove Thomas to sleep, to attempt to escape his problems in dreams. Thomas was about 12 at the time and he read about how dreams were supposedly just relations of real-world problems. This was disappointing to the young boy and some part of his became determined not to dream. Why should he have to live through problems twice when he didn’t even want to face them once? Virgil had noticed how distant Remy was. Not that he was ever particularly social with him before, but he became even more recluse. Virgil’s anxiety was on high alert, determined to find what was ailing his friend. One day, Virgil had finally cornered the side in one of the passages.  
“Rem.. Remy? What’s going on? Why’re you acting so-so-so weird?” Virgil asked, stuttering over his words as he did. He used to be really bad about that.  
“It’s nothing Anx.” Remy replies softly. Virgil remembered now. He hadn’t had a name then.  
“You don’t let me lie to you when I say everything’s fine. Why-why should you get away with it?” The anxious side demanded, grabbing towards Remys arm.  
The sleepy side flinched violently as the darker clad sides’ hand slipped through his arm. It was now that Anxiety noticed just how transparent his friends form was growing.  
“Rem.”  
“I’m fine Anxiety.” Remy snapped, before deflating once again. “Thomas doesn’t need me to have a physical form anymore. He doesn’t want dreams so I won’t make him have them.” He turned slowly and strode in the direction of his door, several passages over. He paused at the end of the hallway and glanced back. “I’ll see you around sister.”  
And he’d disappeared into his room. Virgil hadn’t seen him since. And yet, here he was. With a form and a smile. And he somehow knew Virgil’s name, which meant he’d been around for a good while now. Which Virgil was incredibly thankful for.  
“Hey Rem.” Virgil smiled weakly. “Can we talk?”  
“Of course!” Remy cried, practically dragging the anxious personality into his room. Virgil blinked in surprise at the decor. He’d never actually been in here before.  
Since Thomas wasn’t in the subconscious, Remys bedroom looked like a bedroom instead of Thomas’ living room. It surprised Virgil to see that it was a forest type lay out. The floor was soft clovers and moss with vines dangling from the walls. There was a large tree growing in the far corner, creating part of a roof and a moss circle with raised mounds that resembled seats circled it. Fairy lights were strung from the tree to the far wall, under the other half of the roof. Said half of the roof wasn’t even a roof at all. It was open, showing the moon and Milky Way, even at 3 p.m. Under the open sky, a large bed was spread out, without a frame, on the grass. It was a mound of blankets and pillows, so much so that he couldn’t help but wonder how Remy didn’t drown in it all.  
“Come on boo, it’s been so long since we’ve talked.” Remy smiled, clambering onto the bed and making a nest of blankets for them both before pulling Virgil down with him. He fell silent and looked at him expectantly.  
“Rem, how are you here?” Virgil asked in confusion.  
Remy rolled his eyes. “Honestly, you really thought I’d lose my physical form? I just took a power nap for a few years until I was strong enough and Thomas wanted dreams again.”  
“Why didn’t you come back?”  
“You aren’t here to talk about me.” Remy laughed. “You’re here to talk about what happened with the subconscious. So tell me, why’d you jump in?”  
Virgil sputtered for a second. “So, it was you that saved me?”  
“Damn gay.” Remy smiled proudly (because Damn Straight could always be gayer). “I was just passing by and happened to feel all that anxiety and angst I know and love from you. So, why’d you do it?”  
Virgil started wringing his hands nervously. He didn’t exactly like diving back into those thoughts.  
“I uhh, I just didn’t feel wanted. Or important I guess. I figured... that they’d be better off without me.”  
“You really let go of that big brain of yours after I was gone, didn’t you?” The sunglasses clad personality’s words were joking, but his tone was soft. Virgil hummed softly in response, not feeling like responding verbally. Remy's room seemed to hold a little bit of his power and the warm atmosphere was relaxing him greatly. They fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence, Remy sipping his Starbucks until it was empty and Virgil automatically flicking his wrist to summon a new one for his friend, as he had once become so accustomed to doing. As the anxious personality turned his attention to the stars, Remy sighed.  
“I may’ve been out of commission for a while, but I can still recognize your faces well enough. What’s wrong?”  
Virgil hesitated and Remy huffed.  
“Honestly girl, you’re acting like I’m going to stab you in the side. True, I was considering going to a rave before you came, but I’m not mad and I won’t be no matter what you say.”  
“Rem... you know how... how we can be in the between lands without getting hurt?”  
“Oh, you mean the rainbow area?”  
“Huh?” Virgil tilted his head slightly.  
“You know, like the grey area except gayer.” Remy smirked playfully.  
Virgil nodded slowly. “Ya. That place. The fact that we can be there... it means that we’re neutral, right?”  
“In a sense.” Remy's voice was becoming slightly more serious now. He had pulled the straw out of his drink and was spinning it slowly.  
“Then why does it always feel like something’s dragging me back to the dark sides?” Virgil blurted out suddenly. “Why does my energy go so dark and evil and-“  
“It’s not going dark.” Remy said, his voice an almost dangerous level of serious. That was another thing that had stuck in Virgil’s mind all these years. That his friend was downright scary when he wasn’t joking and drinking Starbucks.  
“It’s not going dark.” He repeated. “It’s just drawing from the darker parts of you.”  
When Virgil just stared in confusion, Remy continued.  
“We are considered the neutral. We aren’t light or dark, but we’re a bit of both. When you use your powers and your pretty little head gets so filled with worries,” he tapped Virgil’s head gently with the straw. “You draw upon all the fear that is in your dark side.”  
“So... it’s not turning me dark?”  
Remy snorted. “No. You’re already as dark as you can get. Well, unless you start listening to a certain snake again.”  
“Then why does it feel so... wrong?” Virgil asked desperately.  
“Because you care for Thomas.” Remy said simply. He twisted the empty cup around in his hand and it filled up and a new straw appeared. He handed it to Virgil, who took it mostly to have something to do with his hands.  
“You realize you’re controlling him and you panic. You let it start to control you. You’ve just got to be less anxious.”  
“Kinda hard to do that.” The messy haired side took a sip of the drink and was surprised by how thirsty he actually was.  
“You know what I mean, Virge.” Remy reassured him. “You gotta find ways to cope. It’s getting better than it was the last time I saw you. I wonder why?” The question was teasing. “Would it be because a certain padre seems to be supporting you more lately? Or maybe it’s the bookworm, with all his facts keeping you calm.”  
Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but found his mind was moving sluggishly.  
“Or maybe it’s even the prince. He reminds me of how we used to dance. Back and forth, quips and insults. Except, he has more fire. Fire, passion, all wrapped up in a tall glass of vanilla bean iced coffee.” Remy tapped the Starbucks cup playfully.  
Virgil glanced down at the half finished drink in his hand in confusion as a wave of tiredness came over him.  
“Oh that!” Remy chuckled. “Don’t worry, I didn’t drug you. Well, not entirely. It’s just some of my magic sleeping dust. Kind of like pixie dust but more my speed.” At Virgil’s offended look, he shrugged. “Sorry Virge, but you actually need sleep sometimes. Honestly, I could feel your exhaustion before you even got here. I didn’t expect you to drink that much though.”  
Virgil glared at him, already having to catch himself from pitching forward.  
“Oh, don’t give me that look. You haven’t slept since before the video and I know it. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re still on your feet after using that power to control Thomas. And while in Patton’s room too.”  
Virgil shrugged weakly as he slumped forward and Remy pulled his head gently into his lap as he closed his eyes.  
“Or maybe you’re more powerful that I thought.” Remy whispered to the already sleeping side. He glanced around his room lazily and tugged a little on Virgil’s hair. He started braiding small pieces in the back, mostly to keep himself busy.  
“You know Virge, I was a pretty bad influence. Dragging you into the dark side for fun, wanting to explore everything and sleep everywhere. But girl, you know me. Never stopping, always partying, probably as close to drunk as you can get off of caffeine 90% of the time.” Remy winced as he accidentally pulled on Virgil’s hair harder than he meant to.   
“I saw how powerful you were that first time you had a voice. I don’t think you even remember it, you passed out pretty quickly afterwards. But I realized, “Sis needs a better friend than this hoe.” So, I figured I’d let myself fade for a while. Thomas was doing just fine, the memes were stale, and I needed a nap anyway.” Remy smiled at the sleeping Virgil.  
“Guess I made the right call. You really snatched my wig this past year, girl. You’ll remember what I said to you when you wake up, hopefully, and I’ll probably be at another party. So I’ll see you on the flip side Verge of Disaster.” He chuckled and waved his hand over the side, sending him to his own room with ease.  
“You know,” Remy continued to the empty room. “I see why you like him so much. Why all of you tend to torture him so that he can be vulnerable. Next time, write me at a party or something, okay sis?”  
Virgil was powerful, that was true. He was one of the most powerful in the mindscape, which everyone accepted. But perhaps Virgil’s power blinded them, or perhaps they just didn’t want to see it. Because if they had looked, they would’ve seen the power laying in an unlikely form, a power that was hardly measurable. If they’d paid attention, maybe they would’ve seen just how powerful Remy truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me for mistakes you cowards


	3. Never Underestimate the Power of Snuggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan doesn’t know what he feels. Ever. Especially not around Patton. And Patton just wants to help.  
> This was a Logicality prompt suggested by one of my friends. I’ve never written a fully Logicality centric anything before so it may be all over the place.  
> Also, Remy shows up for no reason other than he’s fun to write and I didn’t know how to end it otherwise.   
> Background Prinxiety that could be taken as platonic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Very light angst as Logan worries about his emotions. 
> 
> Set after: “Learning New Things About Ourselves.

Never doubt the Power of Snuggles.  
No one noticed anything odd while Thomas allowed them to film the end card, well not any more odd than the fact that they were puppets. They were all in higher spirits than before the video, all released that they had solved at least some of their issues and Thomas was feeling less out of place. What was odd was that after they sunk out of the physical world and appeared in the mindscape commons, Logan retreated to his room instead of lingering with the others. Patton noticed and watched his retreating back worriedly, not wanting to call out and embarrass him in front of the others. And yet, his brain began analyzing the tie-wearing personality’s actions in the video, attempting to find the problem.   
He was pulled out of his thoughts before he could find the answer by Roman and Virgil bickering. He instantly went into dad mode, ready to scold Roman and protect Virgil when the darker sides words in the video returned to him. He didn’t want to be babied. So Patton bit his tongue and as he listened, he was glad he did. They were both smiling instead of glaring at each other and Romans words held a playful edge that Virgil returned with sass. And as he focused on the words, he realized that they were simply debating the scariest parts of Coraline and the most well staged.   
“Why don’t we watch it tonight and we can all weigh in on what’s the best.” Patton suggested, which both the younger sides agreed to immediately. The playful argument shifted towards who would make what snacks as Patton smiled and slipped away, following the brainiacs path towards their bedrooms.   
He paused outside Logan’s door, wondering for a moment if he should try and plan what to say before giving up as it was never his strong suit. Instead, he knocked on Logan’s door gently, rocking on his heels as he waited for a reply. He was reaching up to knock a second time when the door squeaked open, revealing Logan straightening his tie. He jumped in surprise as Patton smiled up at him.  
“Pat-Patton?” Logan asked in confusion. “What can I do for you?”  
“Oh, I don’t need anything, silly.” Patton chuckled. “I was just checking up on you. You disappeared pretty quickly there.”  
Logan’s face reddened a little. “Well, apologies Patton. I just simply wasn’t thinking. Thank you for your concern but I’m okay.” Patton was inclined to believe the side but warning bells chimed in his head. Logan was always thinking. Patton’s smile faded and he frowned at Logan.  
“Logan!” Patton chided. “Thomas shouldn’t lie and neither should we.” He brushed past Logan gently and stepped into the room.  
“We are Thomas.” Logan pointed out but Patton barely heard him, too busy looking around the room curiously. It had been a while since he’d been in here. Not much had changed. Bookshelves still encompassed the entirety of the far wall but other than that, the room was simplistic and neat. His bed was perfectly made, an open book still lying on the sheets where he’d obviously been engrossed in it. Patton wondered if his blankets were as soft as his or if they were boring and made without much thought of comfort, only used to keep warm. Knowing Logan, probably the latter. The soft click of the door closing pulled him out of his revere and he smiled at Logan.  
“Its more private now.” Patton dropped onto the bed and patted the spot next to him. The blankets were soft. Huh, that was surprising. He glanced up at the bookworm expectantly, only to see he hadn’t move, which made him give a small huff. “Now, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”  
Logan avoided his eyes and shifted nervously. “That’s not necessary Patton.”   
Patton scoffed. “Not necessary? Of course it is! Somethings obviously bothering you. Did you already forget what we talked about in the video, about not hiding our feelings?”  
Logan sighed and slumped forward slightly, pinching the bridge of his nose. The lack of his normally perfect posture sent he warning bells screaming again.   
“The video is actually what is... bothering... me.” Logan said slowly.  
The cardigan clad side blinked in confusion. “The video? But it ended nicely.”  
“It’s not the ending that concerns me. I would like to.. apologize for how I treated you today.”  
Patton shrugged. “Oh, that doesn’t bother me Logan. I knew you were just under a lot of stress.”  
Logan squinted his eyes, looking him up and down as if looking for something. To tell if he was lying.   
“Really Logan, you know I’d tell you if something bothered me. It’s sweet that you’re concerned though.”  
Logan’s face flushed a little brighter. “Was I that obvious? I still can’t express how I’m feeling or when I’m concerned so I appreciate that you find it endearing, even if the others don’t.”  
Patton tilted his head to one side, reminding Logan of a puppy attempting to decipher human speech.   
“Is that what this’s about? You think the others don’t like you?”  
“No.” Logan said quickly, his hands starting to trace the patterns in the wooden desk next to him. They all had nervous habit like that, stemming from Thomas. “I was simply stating a fact. Roman and Virgil don’t find my rather unpracticed emotions as “sweet” as you do. Mostly because they are both very emotionally driven, perhaps the most out of the four of us.”   
As if to prove his point, There came a string of offended noises Prince noises from the kitchen followed by, “How dare you even think we’re putting licorice in the popcorn? I can’t even look at you right now!” Patton rolled his eyes at the fanciful aide before focusing again.   
“They just don’t know how to act without emotions Lo. There used to practically swimming in them. Like it’s an emOCEAN!” He giggled at his own pun and noticed Logan struggling against his own smile.  
“I.. suppose you are right Patton.” They fell silent and Patton noticed Logan still tracing patterns nervously.   
“Logan.” His voice was soft but enough to draw the logical sides head up. “Please, come sit down.”   
Logan obeyed slowly and when he settled, Patton placed a hand on his knee as though he were anchoring him in place.   
“Lo, what’s really going on? You aren’t acting strangely just because Roman and Virgil don’t understand you.”  
Logan shifted a little before sighing. “Patton, did laughing and joking make all the sadness go away?”  
The parental side scrunched his nose up. “No. I thought it was helping but it wasn’t. Wait, didn’t you already ask me that during the song? Why are you asking again?”  
“I was hoping to understand... exactly how you stopped that habit.”   
Patton hesitated, attempting to figure out where this was going, but one look at Logan’s hopeful and slightly desperate face melted his heart and brain.  
“Well, it took a while. I had to keep reminding myself that it’s okay to be sad sometimes and I’m not letting anyone down by not being happy. It just got easier the longer I reminded myself of that.”  
Logan deflated at the answer, letting out a disappointed, “oh.”  
“Logan?” Patton asked softly. “Are you okay?”  
“I think we’re already established that I’m not good enough with emotions to know that!” Logan snapped angrily, causing Patton to flinch backwards and pull his hand off his knee at the sudden loud noise. Instantly, pain and sorrow filled Logan’s eyes. “Patton, I’m sorry. I don’t-“  
“It’s alright Lo.” Patton reassured him, taking a steadying breath. “You just startled me is all.” Logan dropped his head before Patton continued. “Besides, I don’t think you’re as bad with emotions as you say you are. Even if your bad at understanding them, it doesn’t mean you can’t get better!” Patton said encouragingly.  
Logan shook his head with a bitter chuckle. “I don’t think I can.” He glared at the book still on his sheet and picked it up, turning it over in his hands. “I’m logic. I think in facts and truths and constant variables. Everything emotions aren’t.” His hands squeezed the book so hard that his knuckles turned white with the effort. Patton didn’t even think as he places his soft hands on top of Logan’s, sending a strange feeling through both of them for a second before Patton pulled the book away and propped it in his lap.   
“You may be Logic, but you’re also part of Thomas, who’s a very emotional person. That means you feel emotions, you just don’t understand what you’re feeling and get scared.” Logan stared at Patton in shock. Sometimes he forgot how truly smart the goofy side could be.  
“What.. what do you suggest then? I’ve attempted to sing through my feelings today and it didn’t work. I have no luck with simply talking about them either so I don’t know what to do. And please don’t say puppets.”  
Patton tilted his head again, something Logan was beginning to think was a habit, causing his glasses to slide a little off his face, perched just on the edge of his nose. Logan felt his face betray him as he started to smile again. It tended to happen a lot. The moral sides eyebrows furrowed in intense concentration before he gasped and righted his glasses.  
“A game!” He blurted out, only to be met by Logan’s confused stare. “When Thomas was in middle school, he used to have to play games with himself to memorize things. It was how he passed all his stems tests.”  
Logan nodded. “Yes, I remember. He tapped into my more competitive side without realizing it by making a points system.”  
Patton’s smile grew wider. “Exactly! Maybe playing a game will help you learn to recognize emotions easier.”  
“I.. suppose it could work.”  
Patton clapped happily, pulling his legs up onto the bed and draping them over Logan’s. The brainiac was still getting used to how touchy feely Patton was and so he just sat still and tried not to have much of a reaction.   
“Alright, so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll say a feeling and you tell me an item that gives you that feeling.” Logan nodded and shifted, Patton’s legs already sending his to sleep.   
“Alright, first off. Happiness.”  
“Crofters.” Patton chuckled.   
“Joy.”  
“Is that not the same emotion?” Logan asked curiously.  
“No.” Patton laughed, as though it should be obvious. “Joy is more like what you find funny.”   
“Oh. Um, the office bloopers.”   
This continued for a few rounds before Patton said,   
“Alright, lets do a more serious one. Sadness.” Logan hesitated and Patton seemed to realize his discomfort because he shrugged.   
“You know what, let’s skip that and play a different game. I’ll give you a name and you have to describe what emotion comes with them, not just the name of it.” Patton started listing Thomas’ friends before shifting gears a little.  
“Roman.”  
“Roman annoys me, as he is far too fanciful and loud for my taste to the point where it sometimes gives me a headache but he is often rather entertaining.”  
“Virgil.”   
Logan paused, searching for the right words. “He can be over the top.. and I don’t particularly understand many of his concerns but I respect that he tries to keep Thomas on track.”  
“Me.” Patton said excitedly, leaning closer to Logan.   
“Happiness.” He said instantly. “And sometimes annoyance but mostly happiness.”  
“What does that feel like?” Patton asked softly, trying to coax more out of him.  
“It feels.. odd. You seem to have an affect on me where you make my brain unable to think clearly and as logically as I normally do. I assume it is because you practically exude happiness.”  
Patton laughed softly. “That sounds more like a crush than anything.” He teased. “But at least I know you like me!” He leaned over and pecked Logan on the cheek gently before swinging his legs off the bed and heading to the door. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Logan frozen in place, his face grower redder than strawberry jam. “Oh ya, we’re having a movie night and watching Coraline if you want to come hang out.”  
Logan tried to stutter out a response before settling to just nod at Patton, who smiled before ducking out of his room. The cardigan clad side practically slipped into the kitchen where Roman and Virgil were pouring popcorn into bowls and setting out drinks.   
“Logan’s coming!” He said proudly.  
“It took you a long time to ask him.” Virgil said a little suspiciously, to which Patton simply smiled and scooped up one of the bowls.   
As he settled down on the couch, Logan appeared next to him and Patton grabbed his hand, pulling him down next to him on the couch. Roman set the drinks down and settled onto the second couch, only to be jostled when Virgil leapt over the back and dropped next to him. Roman glared at him playfully as the opening credits to to movie flashed on the screen. As the movie began and he lights dimmed at Romans will, Patton settled the popcorn bowl on his lap and leaned his head down on Logan’s shoulder. Even in the dark, he could see the blush creeping up his neck, which was extremely entertaining for the paternal side.   
Logan lowered his head closer the Patton’s and whispered in his ear, “Happiness.” Which caused Patton to smile wider and snuggle against Logan even more.   
From the other side of the couch, Virgil poked Roman and pointed to the two. “It took them long enough.” He chuckled and the fanciful side hummed in agreement.   
They all ended up falling asleep before the movie was over, exhausted from transforming into puppets and holding that form for so long. The end result was rather amusing to see.   
Logan was laying across the entire couch, with Patton snuggled into his side like a koala bear, their legs tangled and both of their glasses smooshed against their faces. Somehow, Patton’s cardigan had started to come untied and one arm was flopped over Logan’s chest.   
Roman and Virgil were a different but equally amusing story. Virgil was practically on top of the prince, using his chest as a pillow while the princes breath ruffled his hair. His jacket was pulled tightly around his body like a blanket and one of Romans hands was inside one of his pockets. Roman would occasionally shift, which would side Virgil to whine or huff in protest and kick him until he stilled. He’d probably have bruises in the morning.   
A figure crept into the commons around 1 am and draped blankets over both pairs with one hand, the other holding his phone as he snapped pictures. He ducked out of the room and back into the kitchen, chuckling as he scrolled through the pictures. “Oh, Tumblrs gonna go wild.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me for mistakes you nerds


	4. Bookworm's Birthday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today Is Logan’s birthday so I decided to write a cute little fluffy oneshot.  
> Pure fluff of the sides celebrating while a certain omniscient side plays narrator.  
> Logicality and implied Prinxiety (can be taken as just a really close friendship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings this time except for an overload of fluff.

Birthday  
Happiness was practically infecting the mindscape. Everyone could feel it. It was coming from Thomas, but also Logan. Well, there was also embarrassment coming from the brainy side but it was pretty much drowned out by the happiness.  
It was his birthday after all. Well, kind of. He had been in Thomas much longer than when his “birthday” was but none of them knew the exact date. Thomas was too young to have concrete memories. So his “birthday” was the first time he’d ever appeared in one of Thomas’ vines. He hadn’t manifested himself, none of them being able to yet, but when Thomas went to create a teacher character for the vine, he accidentally gained a glimpse at Logan, who had been sitting in the main commons. This allowed Thomas to draw him forward, almost into the physical world but not quiet. Instead, he had been given almost complete control over Thomas’ brain. Obviously, Roman was there as Thomas needed him to act, but Logan had been given the control to project his images on top of Thomas’.  
It had been such a simple video but after that, Thomas started drawing on him more and more. So, Thomas’ fanders were tweeting pictures and art at him of the brainiac side, celebrating his birthday in different ways. And now, the four main sides were relaxing in the commons, sitting on the ground on pillows around a low coffee table, eating pieces of cake that Thomas had originally bought as a joke.  
Logan was sitting beside Patton, his tie loosened and his hair falling in his eyes a little, eating cake with a smile. He must’ve been truly happy and distracted then. He never would’ve allowed his appearance to become even slightly disheveled otherwise. How exactly-?  
Patton playfully reached over and grabbed Logan’s collar, making his tie loosen a little more, pulling him closer to feed him a piece of cake off his own plate. Logan rolled his eyes but accepted it. Ahh. So that was it.  
Across from Patton, Roman was smiling excitedly, a package sitting on the table in front of him that was probably Logan’s gift. He was obviously excited to give it to the brainiac, proud of his work. The fanciful side started shoveling cake into his mouth, causing Patton to gently remind him to slow down. So maybe it wasn’t so much excitement as it was a sugar high.  
Virgil rolled his eyes and scoffed at Romans’ actions from his position leaned against said side, which allowed him to eat his cake without holding the plate. The reaction caused the prince to playfully poke his arm. Virgil gave a glare and started to pull away, only for Roman to grab onto his sleeve and gently pull him back with the excuse of being cold as he swung his legs up on top of Virgil’s to hold him down. Virgil allowed it as Roman rejoined the conversation and the darker side fell into a comfortable silence. After a few seconds, he glanced up at the ceiling and chuckled.  
“It’s rude to spy Rem.” Virgil chuckled lowly so that the others didn’t hear.  
Remy laughed softly. Virgil was one mystery he could never figure out. He tended to sense whenever Remy was watching or listening in, even when he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. In fact, in the current moment, he was sitting cross-legged on his bed, watching the commons on his phone almost like a livestream without any cameras. It was a perk of being one of the most powerful sides in the whole mindscape. He got to write the rules instead of obeying them. He didn’t give Virgil the satisfaction of knowing he was right, instead falling backwards onto his pillows and holding the phone above his head.  
A small part of him wanted to join the sides to celebrate, but he decided against it. Although he would’ve been welcome, he felt as though he would’ve ruined the comfortable atmosphere. Virgil liked him well enough and Roman respected him, as sleep allowed Thomas to dream and gain ideas but the two glasses clad personalities were a different story. Patton would be nice to him and welcome him with a smile because it was his nature but he would be a little sad to lose his at least semi alone time with Logan. With Virgil and Roman, they were often too busy bickering to bother Logan and Patton. And of course, Logan would offer him a piece of cake out of politeness because that was what he was supposed to do. He liked Remy well enough when he did is job and he respected him since Remy was technically older than him, but he often found all the parties Remy went to instead of letting Thomas sleep annoying and angering. So instead of intruding, Remy opted to be an omniscient narrator and watch the sides from the outside.  
Another image was tweeted at Thomas, flashing across the large cinematic screen in front of the lounging sides. Patton smirked and leaned over, whispering something to Logan. Judging from the blush that spread along Logan’s cheek, Remy would assume Patton had complimented Logan’s appearance in the picture.  
Virgil and Roman both rolled their eyes, which Remy found ironic as they were practically laying on top of each other. As Patton clapped his hands, Remy turned up the volume on his phone to hear the conversation.  
“Alright. Gift time!” Patton said excitedly.  
“Me First!” Roman cried, leaning forward and holding the package out to Logan excitedly. Logan looked a little taken aback but took it and started unwrapping it slowly. He pulled out a binder that was covered in 3D stickers and images obviously printed off the computer.  
Logan couldn’t help but smile. “Roman? I’d this what I think it is?”  
“Yep! It’s the sequel to the Sherlock story I wrote you for Christmas. Now, it turns out that Watson is still alive but has vowed revenge on Sherlock for replacing him with you!” Roman was almost bouncing as he explained, causing Virgil to give a small, “Roman!” To stop him from continuing to jostle the darker side.  
Logan thanked Roman softly and Patton smiled.  
“Alright, my turn.” Patton reached under the table and pulled out a messily wrapped present. Logan smiled at Patton’s excited expression. He pulled off the messily tied bow that was taped down with tape but before he could set it with the wrapping of Romans’ present, Patton snatched it up and placed on top of Logan’s head.  
Remy chuckled at Logan’s embarrassed expression as the sides on the other side of the table laughed. Logan allowed it and pulled present out of the wrapping. It was a book but Remy couldn’t see the title. Thankfully, Virgil couldn’t see it either or he decided to do Remy a favor.  
“What is it?” He asked.  
“A book of science puns!” Patton said happily.  
Logan ducked his head a little. “Ah, yes. Well, thank you.. Patton.”  
The cardigan clad side smiled and squeezed Logan’s arm.  
“Virgil?” Patton asked expectantly, causing Virgil to shrink back a little as the attention turned to him.  
“Oh, um... gimme a minute.” He tapped Romans legs expectantly until the fanciful side moved them and allowed him to stand. He ducked into his room where Remy couldn’t see him and returned after a few seconds with a book in his hands.  
“I’m-Uh. I’m sorry I didn’t wrap it.” He said sheepishly, handing the book to Logan before settling down next to Roman again, who smiled at him encouragingly. Logan turned the book over in his hands and this time, Remy could see it since it was tilted to let Patton see as well.  
“Disney Dreams.” Logan read out loud and Virgil nodded.  
“It’s a coloring book. I figured you would like all the patterns in it. And uhh- it’s also kind of an apology. For using your Alice and Wonderland book a while ago.”  
Logan blinked in surprise. “Oh. Well, an apology isn’t necessary Virgil. I didn’t truly mind you using it, I was just a little annoyed you hadn’t asked. But either way, thank you.”  
Virgil smiled a little and Remy muted the video again. He felt bad listening in any longer. Plus, he was tired. He pulled out his laptop and started scrolling Tumblr with his phone propped up on it, allowing him to watch the others out of the corner of his eye. They didn’t stay much longer after the presents were given, mostly idly chatting amongst themselves.  
Roman pushed himself up first, pulling Virgil after him as he waved to Patton and Logan. Remy was confused for a moment before the opening sounds to The Nightmare Before Christmas floated to him from Romans’ room and he smiled. Thomas would be having some strange dreams tonight thanks to those two. Patton and Logan lingered for a little while longer, Patton occasionally feeding Logan more bites of cake. Remy mostly ignored it until Patton accidentally smeared icing onto Logan’s cheek. He only knew to look because Logan’s embarrassment grew a little stronger as he searched for a napkin. Patton chuckled and leaned closer to Logan and wiped the icing off of him with his finger. Before Logan could stutter a thanks, Patton pressed a quick peck onto the brainiacs cheek and said what Remy could only assume was a happy birthday before he gathered Logan’s presents and bounced towards the tie-wearing personality’s room, smiling widely. Logan’s face was bright red as he followed, tripping over his own feet as he did.  
Remy chuckled softly. He knew how this night would end up. He was Sleep, of course he knew how the nights ended. Roman and Virgil would fall asleep watching Disney movies, Virgil using the Prince as a pillow while the blankets nearly slipped off of them. Logan and Patton would fall asleep with the office bloopers still playing on Patton’s tablet. Logan with his arm wrapped around the moral side and Patton with his glasses crooked on his face and both of their lips stained with chocolate frosting. Remy’s smile was more of a smirk now. Birthdays were always interesting days to play the omniscient narrator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me you dorks


	5. Scales (and Arpeggios)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil’s got a secret that he’s desperately trying to hide under his makeup and Roman has a poorly timed water balloon.  
> Remy’s got a secret too but he’s also a good friend to Virgil.
> 
> Alternatively titled: “There’s lot of Angst but Remy’s there!”
> 
> Also, this is the 5th oneshot I’ve written in 5 days. That’s so wierd because I normally never have motivation. But enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Virgil feels alone  
> Virgil has a panic attack (not described in much detail but still)  
> Virgil has trust issues. 
> 
> Set during and sometime after Accepting Anxiety.
> 
> Prinxiety and platonic friendship between Remy and Virgil

Scales (and Arpeggios)  
Virgil leaned closer to the mirror, layering his eyeshadow on as thickly as he could, which wasn’t much. He paused and groaned as hints of yellow continued to stubbornly peak through the thin layer of black. The dumb scales caused him nothing but trouble. He was constantly having to apply more makeup because nothing stayed on them very long. He’d been lucky that they hadn’t been as noticeable when his physical form was new, back when he had only eyeliner to smudge over them. He turned the container over in his hand, his thoughts wandering back to that time.  
Just before the “Accepting Anxiety” videos had been filmed, the scales had spread from small, random patches, to large circles under his eyes as his form grew truly solid. Before that, his image had been slowly gaining energy from Thomas, slower than the other main sides, trying to gain a physical form when he manifested instead of a semi-physical mental projection.   
As he stared at the larger scales in the mirror for the first time, he felt disgust rising in him for the markings. He turned away from the mirror and ran deeper into the mindscape, away from himself. As he ducked out of his room silently, in an attempt to avoid the main sides, he could practically hear Deceit’s laughter in his ears. Oh how pleased he’d be to see Virgil, who’d fought him and hated him for being a dark side, like this. With the markings of those he hated. Virgil’s breaths quickened and he was panicking, blindly following the halls in a stumbling walk.  
The others had tried to summon him for the video, but he’d resisted them all, something he shouldn’t have been able to do. Their powers were based on their “age”, or the order in which they were formed and since Virgil was the youngest, he should’ve been the weakest, or at least more subjected to the others whims.  
It wasn't completely out of place for Virgil to be able to resist Logan’s call. After all, he was the closest to his age, which Virgil often forgot because the brainiac acted older. Because of this, they should’ve had relatively equal amounts of power. This meant that Virgil hardly gave a second thought to the fact that he resisted Logan’s call tugging at his brain. He was too busy stumbling through the hallways connecting the main “living room” and bedrooms of the light sides and the darker, smaller lounge of the dark sides. He wasn’t quite sure where he was going but he knew it wasn’t in his room, not with the image of the scales curling under his eyes so painful to look at.  
He felt when Roman attempted to summon him, an ache forming in his chest as he attempted to latch onto Virgil’s energy and pull him into the physical world.  
“Anxiety!” The Prince’s voice echoed in his head. Virgil physically stopped, the strength of the royal sides call threatening to pull him right out of the mindscape. The ground grew less solid, his feet starting to sink into it as his body wrestled to enter the physical world and his mind refused.  
“What? How. Dare. He. Uh!” Prince whined as the ground grew solid under Virgil’s feet again and his energy was released. He started moving again, determined to keep moving and escape it all, when a light caught his attention and his body automatically turned towards it.  
Patton was calling him now, his voice barely reaching Virgil’s ears. Vaguely, Virgil wondered why it was so quiet compared to Roman’s but as the light in front of him grew brighter, he ignored the thought. Virgil blinked in confusion as he neared the soft light. It was spilling out of a doorway that had never been there before, never in his countless escapades down these hallways. He could still feel a slight tug on his energy as the others talked about him, which drove him to keep moving. He plunged into the doorway, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted.  
It was a bedroom, large and covered in strings of light. There was a large bed in one corner with a dresser and a desk, a giant beanbag in another corner, and a TV that took up most of one wall. In the center of the room, facing the TV, sat a semi-circle couch and on it lounged a smiling, sun glass clad face.  
Virgil vaguely knew Remy. They’d talked occasionally when he was first formed but he didn’t see the Sometimes sloth-like personality often. As Remy looked over at him, Virgil jerked his head downwards, letting his hair cover as much of the scales as possible.  
“And here I thought you were someone bringing me a new drink.” Remy chuckled. Virgil didn’t reply, hunching his shoulders in embarrassment as he watched the side as best he could. The personality shifted, sitting up and straightening his sunglasses on his face.  
“I know I have a bed-head but am I really that ugly that you can’t look at me?”  
When Virgil again stayed silent, Remy pushed himself up off the couch. “Bedhead or not, it’s nice to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure? Because they’ve got to teach you how to make eye contact. I’ll start the lessons.”  
The leather clad figure tossed empty Starbucks cup at Virgil, sending him stumbling backwards in an attempt to avoid it. The motion shifted his hair to the side and as he stared at Remy in shock, the yellow marking stood out starkly against his pale skin. Instantly, Remy’s demeanor changed from sleepy amusement and annoyance to concern.  
“Oh.” He breathes and Virgil tensed.  
“Look, it’s not what you-“  
“I know what it is.” Remy cut him off. “I just didn’t expect it so soon. I would’ve helped you if I’d known.” He brushed past the darker clad side and rummaged through the dresser quickly.  
“You- you knew?” Virgil asked in confusion. “How?”  
“We all have our secrets.” Remy said simply, pulling out a makeup brush and eyeshadow, which Virgil eyes warily.  
“Relax girl, I know what I’m doing.” Remy assured him. “Now sit.” Virgil complied, perching on the edge of the couch as Remy plopped next to him and started gently brushing the eyeshadow under his eyes.  
“No offense, but I didn’t think your form would be strong enough for them to be revealed.  
“You-“  
“Look up.”  
Virgil huffed but obeyed. “You know that this would happen? That I’m.... I’m a dark side?”  
“A dark side?” Remy laughed. “Girl, you’re tripping.”  
“But... but the scales!” Virgil sputtered, trying to look at Remy's face.  
“I’d stop moving if I were you. Unless you want your entire face to be eye shadow.” As Virgil stilled, Remy continued. “And you’re not a dark side. Far from it actually. You’re technically a light side, if only by your own choosing. The scales aren’t there because you’re dark, they’re there because you had the potential to be. Kind of a permanent reminder that you chose to be good, even if it’s in a roundabout way.”  
“That... that doesn’t make sense. Deceit-“  
“Deceit is a dark side through and through. He has such a big patch of scales because he was predispositioned to be dark. You, on the other hand, could’ve gone either way. They’re just a part of you.”  
Virgil blinked slowly, trying to process this information.  
“Besides, I don’t think you’d have a room in the light sides only club if you weren’t a light side. Although, there's technically a room for you down there too, it’s just never been opened.” Before Virgil could say anything, Remy snapped the eyeshadow closed and leaned back to look at him. “Damn I’m good.” Remy laughed. “You look beautiful.”  
He pulled out his phone, opening the camera for Virgil to look at himself.  
“It won’t stay for more than a few hours because the scales have no traction. It works though and it’ll hide it better than the eyeliner. You’re honestly lucky no one saw you.”  
“Ya.” Virgil agreed softly. As he looked at himself in the camera, he was thankful that Remy had seemed to mask the texture of the scales too.  
“I told you,” Remy smiled down at the camera. “I did an amazing job.”  
Virgil chuckled softly. “Thanks.”  
“Now, care to tell me why exactly you came to my humble abode? You obviously weren’t looking for me.” Remy leaned back against the couch, watching Virgil expectantly.  
“Well..” he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “The main sides were trying to summon me. I figured if I kept moving, it’d be harder for them to pull me out of here. Roman nearly did though.”  
“You’re lucky Patton didn’t try.”  
“He did.” Virgil said, scrunching his nose a little. “It was weird. He was really quiet while Roman was practically screaming in my ear.” Virgil couldn’t tell Remy’s expression from under the sunglasses, but he could see his eyebrows raise.  
“Well, that’s interesting.” He said simply. Virgil rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn’t going to get anymore information out of him.  
“Speak of the devil!” Remy said excitedly, pointing above them where Virgil’s room lay and said side felt a jerk on his energy.  
“They’re in my room.” He realized slowly. “No no no! That’s dangerous! I have to get them out.” Virgil jumped to his feet, desperately trying to think of a way to eject them from his room without hurting Thomas.  
“Woah, chill out for a moment girl. You’re forgetting to breathe.”  
Virgil indeed realized that he was holding his breath, so much so that his chest ached for air until he released it.  
“I’m okay.” He promises.  
Remy shrugged and stood up, adjusting and smoothing out Virgil’s hair gently.  
“What’re you doing?”  
“Making you look more normal. There.” He smiled. “Act like you’ve got nothing to hide and they won’t give it a second thought.” Remy paused, fixing his own hair as though Virgil were a mirror before gasping.  
“Oh, I almost forgot.” He scooped up the eyeshadow and brush and handed them to Virgil. “It’ll last You a little while. Wash it off before you sleep though. Otherwise, it’ll irritate your eyes and your scales, which’ll hurt like hell.”  
Virgil tilted his head. “How could you possible know that? Deceit doesn’t seem like the makeup type.”  
“I told you.” Remy smirked, pulling his glasses down to the edge of his nose. “We all have our secrets.” He batted his eyes at Virgil who gave a small gasp. Yellow scales dances across his eyelids, flashing as he blinked. After a few seconds, Remy pushed his sunglasses back up and smiled.  
“Good luck sis.” He waved his hand and Virgil was wrenched from the room, landing in front of his own door. It took him a moment to get his bearings but when he did, he shoved the gifts in his jacket pocket and focused on appearing in his room.  
Thankfully, Remy had been right. He hadn’t acknowledged the change in makeup in that video, or any after, and the others had accepted it without question. It had been several weeks now and he’d gotten pretty good at replicating Remy's work from that first night. Unfortunately, it had taken many trials and errors, which left him running out of eyeshadow faster than he’d anticipated.  
So now, yellow scales were peaking through the thinly applied eyeshadow and he couldn’t fix it. He wasn’t able to conjure more of it, meaning Remy had probably stolen it from the physical world, somehow making it into a mentally projectile item, most likely via a dream. It also meant that he was relying on the most aloof side of all to fix his problem.  
“Remy?” He called uncertainly to the empty air, searching for his energy in the mindscape. Something he had learned when they were younger was that if the sleepy side didn’t want to be summoned, not even Patton could force him out.  
Now Virgil’s best bet was to try and find Remy's bedroom again, another near impossible task. Unlike the others bedrooms, Remys moved and planted itself wherever he last passed out. So the anxious side ducked out of his room and silently walked through the commons, not feeling very confident, and not wanting to draw any attention to himself.  
Loud laughter from the kitchen made him jump as Roman rushed into the commons, soaking wet, and holding a water balloon. There was the sound of another one breaking in the kitchen and Logan’s gasp of “Patton!” Before Roman noticed Virgil.  
He was smirking before Virgil even had a chance to register what was happening. Having no time to move, the water balloon busted square on his face, sending Roman back into laughter.  
“You look like you’re crying black.” He laughed. “That’s the most emo thing you’ve done all week.”  
Virgil reached up and touched his cheek, pulling away his fingers to see that they were stained black. He flinched violently, which was enough to bring Roman out of his laughter, and he ducked into the hallway he’d originally been aiming for, anxiety already rising in his chest. He ignored Roman calling his name in confusion as he blindly turned corners. He could hear him following him, making his speed up to a run.  
“Remy!” Virgil cried as loud as he dared, still attempting to ditch Roman, as his mind clouded with panic. He had no idea if Roman had seen anything or if there was even anything left on his scales so he kept running, not willing to find out either by letting Roman see his face.  
No, that would be a disaster. Things had finally started to calm down with the others. He’s actually started to become friends with them and the idea of them finding out... They would turn on him. Patton, who called him a son would ignore him and focus on making the others forget him so they’d feel happy. Logan, who debated and somehow calmed him, would be colder than ever towards him.  
Roman. His breathing grew even harsher until he was hyperventilating, causing him to slow down.  
Roman, who was following worriedly would scorn him again. He would abandon him here if he was lucky. He’d slay him like another one of his enemies if he wasn’t. For some reason, this thought made Virgil stumble, caught off guard. Why did it hurt so much more to think about what Roman would do?  
Before he could answer himself, he practically fell down a small set of stairs that seemed to appear out of nowhere. He only narrowly avoided slamming his head into the ground by a pair of arms catching him.  
Remy stared down at the shaking, panic stricken, and now eyeshadow-less side in shock for a moment before he noticed just how hard he was breathing and how much he was truly shaking, not just from the shock of falling. Remy placed his hand gently onto the sides forehead, whispered an apology, and sent him into sleep. His breathing evened out quickly, as his body regulated itself. Remy sighed in relief, propping Virgil up a little more so that he was slumped against him.  
“Sleep?” Roman practically leapt down the stairs, causing the leather-clad side to jump. “What did you do to him?”  
Remy instinctively pulled Virgil closer to his chest, hiding his face as much as he could.  
“I just put him to sleep for a few hours. He was panicking and probably would’ve passed out anyway. Figured I’d let him get a nap out of it too.”  
Roman winced. “This is all my fault. Patton brought water balloons and I thought it’d be funny to hit him with one. I didn’t mean... I shouldn’t... He’ll be okay, won’t he?”  
Remy smiled a little at the royal sides worry. He’d watched from the mindscape as the two opposite sides grew closer. Although, after Virgil revealed that Roman was the one who nearly summoned him, it hadn’t been much of a surprise.  
“Ya, he’s fine. I’ve just got to drag him back to his room and drop him in his bed.”  
“I’ll do it.” The prince scooped Virgil up before Remy could protest, holding him princess style.  
“Uh.. Roman? I don’t think that’s such a good-“  
“Don’t fear Sleep, he’s in not danger. I’ve carried many a damsel or prince before so I believe I can handle....” Roman glanced down at Virgil and trailed off as his head rolled to the side, his left eye in plain view. His whole body stiffened in confusion and it was Remy's turn to wince.  
“I guess I should explain.”  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Soft music reached Virgil’s ears, causing him to stir from his deep slumber. As he regained consciousness, a familiar voice floated to him, singing softly.  
“Bring your music ringing from your chest and not your nose, while you sing your scales and your arpeggios.”  
Virgil groaned and rolled onto his back, blinking in the brightly lit room, far too bright for his room. “Aristocrats? Really?”  
“Virgil!” Roman gasped pausing the movie as the anxious side propped himself up on the pillows.  
He blinked and took in the room, realizing slowly that it was probably Romans, evident by the larger than life TV and lion king blanket thrown over him.  
“I was beginning to worry that Remy had messed up and put you in a coma or something.”  
“Remy?” Virgil’s memories were returning slowly. Roman, Remy, the water balloon. As that particular memory raced back, Virgil flinched, hiking up his jacket, and ducked his head, hiding under his bangs.  
Roman seemed to realize his fear because he quickly said, “Dont worry. Remy fixed your makeup.”  
Virgil relaxed as Roman slid a small mirror across the bed to him and he saw that the eyeshadow was indeed fixed, along with a little more. He glanced at Roman in confusion, making the fanciful side chuckle nervously.  
“The glitter in your eyeshadow was Remy but I did the eyeliner. I figured you’d want some dark knight looks when you woke up.”  
Virgil nodded slowly but glanced at Roman nervously.  
“You.. you and Remy did my makeup. Which means... you saw.”  
Roman blinked in surprise. “Oh. Ya, but Remy explained everything to me. Kinda. He also talked about memes for a while. But he brought us drinks!” Roman picked up the two drinks off the nightstand and handing one to Virgil. “I don’t know what exactly it is but it tastes pretty good.”  
Virgil took the drink in confusion. “So.. you don’t- don’t think that I’m... dangerous?” He asked softly. “After all, I have the potential to be a dark side.”  
Roman sipped his own drink, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you dangerous? Last I checked, you’re just a cat in a human body so unless you hissing at me will hurt me, I think you’re fine.”  
The anxious personality couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “Hey, I could scare you to death. I’m scary.”  
Roman rolled his eyes. “Sure you are.”  
Virgil tried to frown but his lips kept twitching into a smile so he drank his drink instead.  
“Roman... you won’t tell-“  
“Don’t worry.” Roman said automatically, not even letting him finish. “I won’t tell.”  
Virgil smiled thankfully and Roman flipped the remote in the air and caught it.  
“You know, I wasn’t very far in the movie. I can start it over and we can watch together.”  
Virgil shrugged and Roman scooted on the bed and settled next to Virgil as the opening credits played on the screen. Even after the movie was over, neither of them wanted to move so they ended up turning it into a marathon. They got through 101 Dalmatians, The Black Cauldron, and Fox and the Hound before Virgil started to nod off. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the fact that it was 3 a.m. or because Remy's strange sleep power still lingered on. Either way, he soon felt himself slipping out of consciousness, into a content and light sleep. Little did he know, the prince followed almost immediately after him.  
Remy felt it the moment they went to sleep and he smiled to himself as he saw how close their energies were, meaning they were both asleep on the Princes room. Virgil still had a long way to go before he felt safe enough to let Patton and Logan know about his strange marking or before he was able to accept them himself, but at least he now had Roman. After all, Remy wasn’t exactly the best friend to have for advice so it was good that there was now someone else who knew the secret. Especially someone who Virgil trusted, even if the reveal had been unintentional. And, Remy thought to himself, perhaps Virgil will start to see his feelings for what they are. After all, secrets bind us together. He pulled off his sunglasses and eyed himself in the mirror. Maybe it was time he started trusting too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RoAsT mE yOu LoSeRs


	6. Sleepy Hugs (Requested by Prplzorua)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy is a touched starved child who just wants love but doesn't know how to ask.
> 
> Sequel to Scales (And Arpeggios) because I actually really like that little universe. Set about 2 weeks after that. 
> 
> Can you tell I like writing angst and Remy?
> 
> Wonderful idea suggested by Prplzorua (Who writes amazing stories and you should totally check out. Seriously, I love Innerworks and may have fangirled at their request) So let's hope I do it justice!  
> (I also maybe wrote this instead of doing school work so it’s came together way faster than I expected)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lil bit of touch starved Remy, which probably doesn't qualify for a warning but I'm putting it anyway.  
> (Also, I've never written like this before so I would like to apologize if it ended up bad)

Remy sometimes wondered if he was actually a side. The fanders sure seemed to think he was, he had spent hours scrolling through Tumblr after the first short he was in, but did that make him one?  
The side's fell into two categories in Thomas' mind. The light sides, sides who wanted nothing but to help Thomas, and the dark sides, who focused more on self-preservation than their host. It wasn't exactly their fault, just how they were naturally dispositioned to be, but it was definitely the less desirable of the two. Occasionally, there were anomalies who could fit into either the dark or the light sides but they were few and far between.  
Virgil was one of these anomalies. Remy had watched him struggle with his identity, being coached by Deceit but being drawn to the lighter sides, or a particular light side. *Cough* Roman *Cough*. He had struggled for a long time before settling with the light sides. And Remy hadn't interfered.  
Well, he had helped Virgil cover the scales that marred his pale face, but he didn't count that. Virgil would've figured out a way to cover it up on his own, Remy only assisted it to go faster. He never interfered before that and he never did afterwards. He was true neutral. Sleep wasn't light or dark, just a biological process. Sometimes he wondered why he even had a form, then chalked it up to Thomas simply sleeping a lot. So he tended to isolate himself. Why hang around where he didn't belong? Except now, Virgil had invited him to eat with the light sides.  
"As... a thank you, I guess. For all you've done for me." Virgil explained timidly.  
"Girl, you don't need to thank me. Although, I will accept payment in Starbucks." Remy joked lightly, causing Virgil to roll his eyes.  
"Well, you're getting paid in Patton's cooking. Maybe I'll give you a drink afterwards."  
So Remy had ended up sitting next to Virgil and Patton, eating some pasta. How Patton could cook when Thomas couldn't, Remy didn't know but it was delicious. Things were thankfully much less awkward than he expected. Sure, he confused Logan a couple of times, which caused the side to start writing a few new note cards, and Virgil and Roman stared at each other so obviously that he had to kick the anxious side to bring him back to his senses, but all in all it was a fun night. Patton didn't hesitate to bring him into the conversation, asking questions and laughing at Remy's jokes even when he didn't understand them. For a while, Remy almost felt like he belonged. And it was nice, even when the conversation turned to him.  
"It is rather odd that you are the only one without a proper name." Logan said.  
"Proper?" He laughed, leaning back in his chair, his sunglasses still firmly in place.  
"Perhaps a better word would be real." Logan corrected.  
"Remy is my real name." He shrugged. "The fanders just picked up on it before Thomas did. After all, our names are part of us, so they're always there. He just wasn't looking and they were. It wasn't important for him to know my name. He was too busy looking for yours." He was careful not to let that come across as bitter. Because he wasn't. He'd always known he was less important that the light sides. It had stopped hurting a long time ago. At least, he told himself it had.  
"Awe!" Patton gasped. "But you are important!"  
Remy smiled at Patton, pushing as much brightness into it as possible. "Girl, I know that! I'm the absolute Queen. I just meant that it wasn't important at the time."  
The parental side accepted it and pushed the conversation on, towards some of the art the fanders had submitted recently. Remy slumped a little in relief, which Virgil caught, and the anxious side sent him an apologetic smile. Remy rolled his eyes at this but accepted it. He didn't blame Virgil for anything, how could he? He hadn't pushed the conversation in that direction or even forced him to come to the dinner. As he watched Virgil's face flush a little when Roman brushed their legs together under the table, Remy rethought that sentiment. He would blame Virgil if he threw up his meal because of their flirting.  
Thankfully, it was over before that happened. Logan disappeared into his room to read a new book and after a few minutes, Virgil and Roman followed. As they did, Remy pushed himself up regretfully. He hadn't gotten to finish his plate with all the talking but he didn't want to impose on Patton any longer. Even so, his stomach yearned for something more that a croissant. Before he could figure out what to do, Patton leapt to his feet.  
"Oh, I'll wrap that for you if you want to take it to your room." He took it out of the leather clad personalities hands before he could formulate a response. "I'm sorry we kept you talking so long. We never get to see you around and it's fun talking to someone new. Can't have too many friends after all!"  
The parental side handed the now tin-foiled plate back to Remy with a proud smile.  
"Oh. Thanks Pat." Remy said kindly.  
"Anytime! You know, you should come eat with us more often!" He paused, his head tilted to the side as though hearing something. He sighed a little but still smiled. "Well, Thomas needs me to help him figure out what he's having for dinner. I'll see you later Kiddo!" The cardigan clad side practically skipped the few steps to Remy and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him against his chest gently.  
Remy's brain froze. He'd never... well, he'd never even ever been touched really, much less hugged. It sent a warmth through his body that made him smile, despite being foreign. Unfortunately, before his brain could work any more, or his body could respond to the hug, Patton stepped back and sunk down, out of the mindscape, leaving a startled Remy staring at the spot on the ground.  
The only thing that startled him out of his shock was the plate starting to slide out of his hands. He adjusted it quickly and turned on his heel. He appeared in his room without taking a step, not entirely trusting himself not to fall if he did walk. It was in the same place Virgil had found him almost two weeks ago. He placed the plate down and nearly fell onto his bed.  
Why was a hug such a big deal? He wondered as he tossed his sunglasses onto the dresser and buried his face into a pillow. It wasn't like Patton never hugged anyone. But it felt.... he didn't know how it felt but he liked it. He liked being hugged by Patton. Not like Logan liked it in his denial of feelings, but somewhat similar. It left his skin tingling a little, and for the first time in his life, he felt something odd. A yearning. Not for love, or even for Patton, but for human contact in general. Someone to talk to, to sit next to, to hug.  
"Damn you Virgil." He whispered to his empty room, but there was no fire in it. As he turned over onto his back, he half considered visiting the anxious side. After all, they were the most similar. The itching on his eyes reminded him of that. But when he searched through the mindscape, he found the side's energy already practically mixed with Roman's as they watched yet another Disney movie in the fanciful side's room. So instead, he huffed, turned onto his side, and pulled one of his throw blankets over his body. He wouldn't be surprised if he kept Thomas up all night with his tossing and turning.  
He didn't know how long he truly slept but it couldn't have been more than an hour. He finally forced himself up and regretted it when he saw his reflection. The bags under his eyes were reaching dangerous territory, growing closer to Virgil's natural bags that mixed with the eyeshadow and scales. His hair was a mess and his eyes almost refused to open, meaning he had to stare at the bright yellow.  
They were, ironically, the only thing that convinced him he truly was a side. He hated them. They meant he had feelings, that he needed things. That he wanted to be hugged. He wrapped his arms around himself but it didn't do much. Why had this suddenly become such a big deal? It had never bothered him before all of this. He was used to the others ignoring him. He hadn't wanted their affection. Because unlike Virgil, he wasn't their friend. If they had seen what he was, how truly unlike anything else he was, they would push him away. Fear of the unknown. Affection was just a trap that would get snapped on his neck before too long. All because of those stupid scales.  
He glared at his reflection and grabbed his sunglasses, shoving them on his face in annoyance. He also grabbed the Starbucks cup that had appeared sometime in the night, compliments of Virgil. He resigned himself to wandering through the halls of Thomas' mind with no real directive. After all, he could go anywhere he wanted. And so he resigned himself to wandering, visiting the darker lounge and talking to the non-physical sides that presence's hung in the air, before finding himself in the kitchen of the light sides.  
He hesitated for a minute before realizing that no one else had left their rooms. He shrugged and started gathering things out of the fridge, ready to try a pinterest recipe for a Unicorn Frappuccino. He was so focused on his creation, he didn't even notice the energies around him changing.  
Patton nearly jumped out of his skin as he rounded the corner to the kitchen and saw the sunglass wearing side perched on the counter, measuring out food coloring. He still got scared by Virgil's odd spots he chose to rest in, so seeing anyone else only added to the shock.  
"Remy?" The parental side's voice startled the normally laidback side, causing him to jerk and send pink dye splattering across the floor.  
"Oh shi-shoot!" Remy gasped, jumping down from the counter. "Patton, I'm sor-"  
"Oh, it's no big deal Kiddo!" Patton reassured him, a little worried by the loss of his more confident personality he had seen just last night. "It's just a little color. I'll have it cleaned up quicker than you can blink."  
And he did, the floor once again spotless as Patton waved his wrist flippantly. Remy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  
"Uhh, sorry about that. You scared me."  
"Odd, I've never seen anyone scare you before." Patton noted.  
"Oh, well, I was just so focused on making this AMAZING drink I saw on pinterest." Remy said, his voice falling a little flat, which caused the moral personality to fight off a frown.  
"Well, why don't you make one for me too? I never really got to talk to you too long before Thomas needed me." Remy nodded instantly, happy to have a reason to turn his back to him. He didn't fully trust himself not to fly at him and beg for a hug. He had his dignity, after all. Even though most of his body wanted to ignore that, meaning he felt almost physical pain to face the counter again.  
Patton noticed. Patton noticed a lot more than most of the sides gave him credit for. Remy was normally conscious of this fact but it was crowded out by the rest of his thoughts. A frown played on Patton's face as he watched the back of the leather jacket. He used to think he'd known Remy. At least, he knew Sleep. He knew that the personality showed up when Thomas needed him, exchanged a few words, and disappeared. He assumed that was just how he was. But after seeing him in Thomas' shorts and last night at dinner, the reserved and quiet version that he'd slipped back into seemed so wrong. So when Remy handed him his drink and hopped back onto the counter, Patton eyed him carefully.  
"Are you alright kiddo?"  
"Hmm?" Remy took a sip of his drink before processing the words. "Oh, Ya. I just didn't get much sleep last night. Got distracted by some Tumblr posts." It wasn't a lie, he had ended up scrolling through his phone around 4 a.m.. It would be counter-productive to lie to Patton. He was too good at noticing them.  
"Oh." Patton said thoughtfully. He searched for the warning bells that normally came, the red flare of energy that signalled a lie, but it didn't come. Still the words didn't sit right with him. But he let it go, instead deciding for a different approach.  
He pushed himself up onto the counter clumsily beside Remy, brushing their arms as he did. That was when he noticed the side almost unconsciously leaning into the touch. Odd.  
"What...?" Remy trailed off as Patton shrugged.  
"You and Virgil seem to like it, I wanted to see if it was really a good place to sit."  
"It's high up and it's got more room than a chair." Remy said simply.  
"Can't think of a COUNTER argument for that!" Patton smiled, causing Remy to snort. They fell into a comfortably silence, Remy sipping his drink while Patton simply swirled the straw, watching the colors mix. At least, that's what he let Remy believe he was doing. In reality, he was watching the side's movements, a theory starting to come to his mind.  
He let his arm brush Remy's again, under the guise of grabbing a napkin, and watched as the Side once again leaned into him. He smiled a little sadly as everything clicked in his mind. He'd seen Thomas get in moods like this, moods where he just wanted to be hugged or touched. In fact, all of the side's experienced it too. Patton and Roman got it most but they could also resolve it easiest. Logan would sometimes sit next to Patton while reading and let the fatherly personality play with his hair, pretending to be too distracted to notice. Virgil was probably the worst of the four about actually saying something. He didn't like to be touched normally, but there were time's when he wouldn't stop Patton from wrapping him in a quick hug after a video, settling to lightly complain.  
As Patton thought, he realized he'd never actually seen Remy feel this. He obviously had to sometimes, but he'd never showed his face in the commons or even made an attempt to be around any of them. And yet, now he was practically clinging to Patton's side. Patton's heart hurt a little as his brain connected the last few dots.  
To his knowledge, his quick hug to Remy was the most physical contact he'd ever been given. That would explain why he didn't sleep well, why there were bags peeking out from under his glasses. It was now that the side finally noticed the paternal parent staring at him and raised an eyebrow curiously.  
Patton smiled a little sadly. "You know, If you wanted a hug, you could've just asked. There wasn't a reason to bribe me with sugary drinks." He spread his arms wide, waiting for Remy's permission.  
Remy couldn't help but stare for a moment. Was... how... His brain was desperately trying to make sense of it when his body moved first. He leaned into Patton, letting him hug him as tightly as he wanted.  
Trap. Trap. TRAP. his brain yelled but Remy ignored it. He knew it was wrong.  
He buried his face into Patton's shoulder, smiling as he did. He had no idea how long they sat on the counter, but it was long enough for the ice in his drink to melt. When he finally sat back, quickly making sure his sunglasses were still in place, he smiled at the paternal side.  
He hadn't realized just how much he needed that until now.  
And so, Remy was no longer detached and distant. He came to dinners more, talked with the sides, teased Virgil, and tried to push Logan and Patton together. He started to feel like he belonged somewhere more than the random passageways. There were time's he got lonely, even while the others were sitting next to him, or when his skin crawled, wishing for human contact. Whenever that happened, he would lean against Patton or sometimes Virgil, and things would get better again.  
He still hadn't told the others of his scales and neither had Virgil. Neither of them were quite ready for that. But Remy found himself smiling as he sprawled across Patton's legs in the commons, his phone held over his head, Roman and Virgil on the floor wrapped in a blanket, and Logan on the other side of Patton with the father's head on his shoulder. He wasn't ready yet, but he would be. He didn't know when, but he knew it would come. He was finding his place, learning to trust. It was similar to Virgil's story. Except this time, he was living it instead of watching. And he liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me my fellow crazy people!  
> Also, Prplzorua, I hope you like it!


	7. Lost and Found (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're lost."  
> "I'm right here."  
> "It's okay."  
> "You're acting weird."  
> "I was lost once too."
> 
> Virgil was lost once. Oh so very lost. So lost that even he couldn't find himself.
> 
> My version of the history between Virgil and Deceit.
> 
> This turned out really long (It jumped my word count from 15,000 something to 22,000 something). Longer than I expected so it got split into two parts.  
> I skimmed through most of the episodes because they were not entirely necessary and I didn't want to make it longer than it already was. Enjoy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> *Manipulative friendship  
> *Self deprecating/hateful thoughts  
> *Anxiety attacks

It was getting loud. Too loud.  
Thomas and Logan were getting dangerously close to screaming instead of singing. Logan had left his spot, something they shouldn't have been able to do.  
Getting louder. God, why was everyone so loud?  
Virgil's head felt like it was going to explode. Why couldn't Logan just listen for once? Why was he so against trying to work things out?  
He was acting strange. Not like himself. Sure, he was more focused on facts as usual but he was also angry. Angry and scared and..... oh....  
"Hey!" Virgil snapped, quieting the two with his loud, but thankfully not corrupt voice. He took a breath and steadied himself.  
"You're lost." He sang softly.  
"I'm right here." Logan said in confusion, sliding back into his normal spot.  
"It's okay." Virgil continued gently.  
"You're acting weird." Logan leaned away from him a little, which would've stung if he didn't know what was going on.  
"I was lost once too." Virgil admitted, dropping his eyes to the ground.  
He had been lost, just as Logan had been. So lost that he hadn't ever believed he could be found.

\---------------------------------

When he had first gained a physical form, he landed in his room as all new sides did. He circled it slowly, unable to believe what he was saying. He didn't matter. He certainly didn't matter enough to be physical or have a room. Not to say he didn't like the room.  
It wasn't Thomas' living room, which was something their rooms rearranged into whenever Thomas visited the mindscape to allow him to comprehend it easier. It was dimly lit with fairy lights, with dark curtains covering the windows and a bed shoved in the corner under a poster for Wicked, which Thomas' then barely fourteen year old self had listened too for several days.  
There was a laptop perched on his dresser and a phone next to it and large headphones attached. He picked the headphones up and turned them over in his hands, staring at the small purple letters stamped on them. Virgil. A name unconsciously given to him by Thomas. (He later learned that the others had learned their names that way too, through objects in their rooms. Romans was on his sword handle, Patton's on his cardigan tag, and Logan's on his glasses.) He smiled and set them down, startling as he saw something mimic his movement in the corner of his eye. There was a door that lead to some unknown location with a full length mirror strapped to it, his reflection having scared him.  
He blinked as he saw himself. He was Thomas, which wasn't surprising, but there were features of his face that were different. His eyes were a darker shade of brown that looked almost black, accentuated by the smudged eyeliner under his eyes that mixed with his dark bags, and he was a little taller than the real Thomas. Paler too. Much paler. And his hair was wilder, like it had been under his hood all day. He was wrapped in a jacket that was a size too big, the sleeves falling over his palms, and ripped black jeans and black converse.  
Looking back, he would try to find what emotion he felt as he stared at himself and found that there wasn't one. Even for a few moments, he existed without any emotion. Which was ruined the second he opened his door.  
His anxiety sprang into his throat, making it feel tight as he stared at the dark room outside his door. It wasn't incredibly bad. It looked like Thomas' living room draped in shadows and inverted colors.  
Another version of Thomas was relaxing on the couch, ignoring at him as he stepped out for the first time. This version was shorter than Virgil, which he could tell even when he was sitting, and his face was covered by a bowling hat. When the Thomas' looked up, Virgil jumped back in shock. The side's face was marred with bright yellow scales on the left side of his face, his left eye having an area of irritated skin around it as it stared at Virgil with a slitted eye that was not human.  
"Hello." The boy smirked, amused by Virgil's fear. "You're Anxiety aren't you? I'm Deceit."  
Anxiety. That's what he was. But... the name. Was that a mistake?  
"Dec-Deceit? It that... your only name?" He asked cautiously and the snake boy laughed.  
"Yes." He said. "We don't have other names. Dark side's don't need them." At Virgil's shocked look, he continued. "Yes, dark side. We're the sides that the main's have decided aren't worth anything. That we can't possibly be good for Thomas. The dumb Prince thought up this place and this is where our bedrooms end up now."  
"There... there are more of you? And.. We're stuck here?"  
"Us." Deceit reminded him. "And not in physical form. Their bedroom's are here though. And we can still go into the mains side. He couldn't completely cast us out of Thomas. But we tend to get chased out with swords to our backs."  
Virgil felt a shudder wrack his body as his thoughts went wild, imagining the kind prince he had observed in Thomas' mind turned against him, cold metal against his skin. His breath must've picked up, because Deceit was quick to reassure him.  
"Don't worry Anxiety, They never come down here. Too far below their standards. Come on, I'll show you around!" He jumped up and held out a hand for the trembling side, who eyed it warily. "Oh, Come on Anxiety! I'm not all bad. Besides, I won't lie to you. I only lie to Thomas. Don't you trust me?"  
"I... I trust you." Vir- no. Anxiety mumbled a little, feeling guilty for doubting the side. He was only trying to be helpful. So he accepted the gloved hand and let him lead him away from the safety of his room.  
Anxiety grew closer to Deceit as they grew with Thomas. The scaled side had earned a cape as he grew and Anxiety's bangs had grown longer than Thomas'. They were about 16 now and the darkly clad side still stuck close to the dark lounge as Deceit instructed. He found he could influence Thomas from there, leaving no reason to leave. Until today.  
Thomas wasn't listening to him. They couldn't possibly tell a boy they liked him. Did they want to be bullied for the rest of high school? Plus, He didn't even know if he was gay. What would their parents say? What if he ruined their friendship over nothing? It wasn't as if Florida was the most progressive state.  
And so he forced himself to take the path to the light side's common rooms. It didn't look particularly foreboding, with the lightly colored carpet slowly changing from black to white as he neared the room, but it felt like he was walking to his death. Except, there wasn't an executioner when he reached the common room. Instead, there was a boy who was practically bouncing where he stood.  
He looked older than Thomas was, if only by a year or two. He was short, his face was round, freckles spread across his skin that was light but not as pale as Anxiety's and a pair of glasses over his light brown eyes. His hair was curlier than Thomas ever let his get but tamed. He had a blue collared shirt and khaki pants (Having not yet gained his signature sweater), which was a rather plain outfit in Anxiety's opinion.  
Beside him, another older looking Thomas stood, taller than the first and also wearing glasses but younger than the first, if just barely. His eyes were darker, closer to Anxiety's, but his hair was straighter and much more taimed than even the real Thomas. He had a dark turtleneck that matched his skin that was identical to Thomas', reminding Anxiety of some people he saw drinking coffee in movies, and khakis. Morality and Logic.  
Anxiety recognized them from the many times Deceit complained about them dismissing his opinions and refusing to listen to him. He'd expected them to be... different. Thankfully, they didn't appear to see him, to busy with their own conversation, as he slipped past them and towards the front of the room. He slipped through another door and blinked as he entered Thomas' subcortical area, or the area that controlled emotions. As he did, he saw the third main side sitting in front of the screen that was projected on the wall.  
He was taller than Anxiety but probably the same height as Logic. His back was turned, but his face was reflected by the screen, letting Anxiety see that his eyes were light, perhaps only beaten by Morality's, and his smile was nearly blinding. His hair was longer, almost as long as Anxiety's in the back and lighter brown with a golden crown nestled in it. He had a white shirt with some Disney character that he couldn't see and jeans. And as he spun in the chair to look at the opened door, Anxiety felt his chest tighten dangerously.  
The reason Thomas hadn't listened. Creativity. The self proclaimed Prince of the mindscape. The side's smile dropped a few watts as he eyed the darkly clad side in front of him.  
"Who're you?" He asked warily.  
"Doesn't matter." Anxiety mumbled, moving to the far end of the table and tapping it with his hands. As he did, he felt a little of his anxiety flow into Thomas, causing the Prince's fantasies of kissing a boy suddenly waver and disappear. Said side let out an offended gasp.  
"What did you do? Do you realize how hard it is to make such realistic daydreams?"  
"I.. I reminded Thomas that it isn't that easy." He said, growing a little more confident as he did. He was helping Thomas. Reining him in, grounding him by showing him he had things to fear.  
"Of course it is that easy!" The Prince cried in annoyance. "He just has to say it."  
"And what if things go wrong?" Anxiety countered. "It could ruin everything. He wouldn't be our friend anymore!"  
"He's not like that! He likes us! Did you not see how he smiled at us the other day?"  
"That was just him being friendly!"  
Their loud voices seemed to finally catch the older side's attention, because they appeared in the doorway, staring at them in confusion. Anxiety shrunk into himself a little but stood his ground. They may have dismissed Deceit, but they would not dismiss him. He knew what was best for Thomas.  
"It's dumb to say anything. He could ruin everything. We don't even know..." He trailed off but the others got the idea.  
"While I would not say it would ruin everything, there are consequences to confessing this... attraction." Logic said slowly.  
"But that is now how life works!" Roman cried. "We have to try something!"  
"He's right kiddo's." Anxiety flinched at Morality's kind tone. It sounded almost condescending to the darker side's ears. "We have to talk to someone about this or we'll never figure it out."  
"But there's a better way than asking him out!" Anxiety cried. "What if he laughs at us. Or tells the whole school?"  
"He's our friend." Morality reminded him. "We have to trust him."  
"But-!"  
"Oh let it go, whoever you are!" Roman snapped in annoyance.  
"Anxiety." He and Logic said at the same time, granted Anxiety angrier. He blinked in shock and the glasses wearing personality shrugged.  
"It is somewhat obvious."  
Roman huffed. "I don't care who you are. You can't just barge in here and start making decisions."  
"I'm a side too." He protested softly, growing more panicked as their stares seemed to grow more intense. Roman frowned down at him from the two inches he had over him.  
"Well, judging from your attire, you're a **DARK** side." Anxiety flinched at the words and Roman smirked a little. "Which means your opinion doesn't matter. You don't want to help Thomas. You're just here to cause him problems."  
Anxiety suddenly felt like the room was closing in on him. The Prince was smirking down at him, Morality looked at him with something close to pity, and Logic had his eyebrows furrowed, studying him like a subject. He felt his hands start shaking and he wrapped them around the too long sleeves, running his fingers along the fabric in an attempt to ground himself as he growled wordlessly at them and stormed out of the control room.  
He didn't hear Logic start lecturing Creativity on the realistic points he had brought up.  
He didn't hear Morality scold Creativity for his words.  
He didn't hear Creativity apologize to the fatherly personality before he had gotten more than 5 words out.  
The only thing he heard was the Prince's words repeating in his mind.  
You're just here to cause him problems.  
That wasn't true. He wanted to help! Why hadn't they listened to him? Well, Logic had but he certainly hadn't fought very hard for him.  
He was shaking by the time he reached the dark lounge, where Deceit was waiting with a disappointed look on his face. Anxiety practically fell into his arms, his body shaking, and he was relieved when his friend pulled him into a hold, keeping him standing. After only a few seconds, a much shorter time than Anxiety wanted, Deceit pushed him back and forced him to stand on his own. He looked at Anxiety with an expression that he assumed was sympathy.  
"What did I tell you?" Deceit laughed softly. "They don't listen to us."  
"I-I just wanted-"  
"I know." Deceit cupped his face, which caused Anxiety to attempt to flinch away. Deceit had a habit of petting his face that he didn't seem to realize he hated. Sure enough, the gloved hand simply cupped his face a little more firmly, holding him in place. "You tried to tell them how to help Thomas and they ignored you. They all dismissed you and scorned you."  
Anxiety frowned a little. No, Logic hadn't-  
"They hate you. No, worse, they pity you. They think you just want to hurt Thomas, that your just a child who doesn't know anything. Isn't that right, 'Kiddo'?" Deceits voice twisted, turning sweeter and lighter in a perfect imitation of Morality's voice. Anxiety should've been used to that by now. He did it often enough. He said he was tapping into their form, finding their lies and speaking them. But he couldn't help but jump back, the intense feeling of something being wrong washing over him as he found himself staring at the older side's face instead of his friends.  
As he did, Deceit's face shifted back, the scales overtaking the freckles and the warm brown eyes changing to dark and angry, one human and one snake. A look of hurt washed over the side's face.  
"Are... are you scared of me?" Deceit asked, his voice shaking. "Im-I'm just trying to protect you! I dont want you abandoning me, not when they've been so cruel to you. That's what friends do. I mean... if we even.."  
"No, of course not!" Anxiety cried desperately. "You're my friend. I'm sorry, you just startled me. I.. what can I do?"  
"Don't go back." Deceit whispered. "I don't like seeing you get hurt by them."  
Anxiety nodded instantly. "I won't go back."  
Deceit nodded and looked away, making Anxiety feel guilt tug at his stomach again.  
"I promise."  
If he had looked, he would've seen the scaled side smile under his hat. "Good." And he kept his promise for a while. Thomas had come out to his friend, who rejected him but accepted him as a friend. Things hadn't gone bad with his parents either, and despite a few less than friendly comments, Thomas was happy. That helped Anxiety keep his promise. He couldn't stand the idea of seeing Creativity's smug face.  
Under Deceit's coaching, he learned to take control of Thomas without even leaving his room, wrenching it out of the other's hands. It felt odd and corrupted his voice, but at least he knew Thomas was safe.  
Deceit assured him that some of his worse attacks while holding control didn't affect Thomas as badly as he thought. That he was imagining the tremors that came through his room as his host struggled for breath.  
Deceit told him many things. Anxiety was still learning how to move around his friend, even after all these years. His mood could flip in an instant, believing Anxiety was planning to abandon him or that he hated him. Anxiety often had to repeat his promise to stay away from the others, even though he'd never been close to breaking it. Until now.  
Thomas had allowed the others to manifest themselves for two videos now. Videos where they had allowed Thomas' fans to see them as they were now. Anxiety found himself staring at the video in surprise.  
The other had changed so much in the past few years. Logic had changed, wearing a collared shirt and a tie instead of his turtleneck. He sounded like Thomas but older and more mature, so much like he had when Anxiety had first met him.  
Morality hadn't changed much, other than adding his cardigan, and his hair was just as wild. His happy voice made Anxiety flinch. He was too used to the comments that came floating into his room about him, or the time's Deceit tapped into his form.  
Creativity had probably changed the most. He had lost the tacky crown that sat on his hair but he had otherwise thrown himself into the Prince persona wholeheartedly. He had a sash now and a full white outfit that Anxiety couldn't help but admit that made him look regal.  
That being said, Anxiety only seemed to have gotten darker. His clothes were the same, his hair longer than ever, and his dark circles only growing darker. He had grown taller as Thomas had, now closer in height to the Prince but still shorter than him.  
"Of course." Deceit scoffed from his doorway, causing him to nearly drop his phone. "They get everything all over again and we get hidden away."  
Anxiety nodded slowly. "Ya. It sucks. But what are we gonna do?"  
Deceit tilted his head before saying, "Well, it's obvious. You manifest into a video. He's filming one right now."  
"But... we can't unless Thomas allows us to." Anxiety gasped. "Everyone knows that."  
"That only applies to the light sides. We can do as we please. It's just like taking control from the others. You grab onto Thomas' energy and pull it, twist it until he listens." Anxiety shuddered.  
"But-But the fanders will see me. And I-"  
"It's the only way he'll listen to you!" Deceit insisted. "You have to. It'll be good for both of us."  
"Will... will it really help?" He asked softly and his friend nodded. "O-okay." He closed his eyes and focused on Thomas' energy, grasping onto the strings that flowed into his room and pulled himself into the real world.  
He didn't rise up like the others. No, he appeared suddenly as he forced himself into Thomas' living room. He didn't trust himself to stand, instead lounging on the stairs, which didn't mean his hands weren't shaking violently. Thomas screamed at his arrival and it made his skin sting like he'd been hit with a whip but he ignored it.  
"I'm sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second?" He asked with as much of a smirk as he could. The words spewed out of his mouth without much thought as he spoke with Thomas. He didn't remember half of what he said until the Prince appeared. Suddenly, his anxiety spiked. The fanciful side scorned down at him, his brown eyes smoldering. He didn't know why his hair stood up on his neck like it did. It was because he was scared. He told himself. No other reason.  
_-Idiot.-_  
Anxiety's head jerked and he was grateful the camera wasn't on him at the moment. It wasn't his voice projecting into his head. It was Deceits.  
_-You're getting distracted. You let your guard down and they'll tear you apart. Make them listen to you!-_  
Anxiety obeyed without a second thought, fighting Thomas as they visited Lily, fighting Thomas as he tried to calm him. He'd never admit it, but he did end up being calmer by the end of the video, despite it spiking again as Thomas banished him. Deceit was smiling on his bed as he reappeared in his room.  
"Good job." He said silkily. "You scared them. Showed them what they're up against. Now, you just need to keep it up."  
And so, Anxiety listened. He appeared in more videos, fighting and snapping and trying to get Thomas to listen to him. Because that's what Deceit wanted. And his friend always knew best. He wouldn't let them hurt him.  
"You're strong enough to do this Anxiety." Deceit promised, and Anxiety's chest swelled with pride.  
And so he didn't tell him how much it hurt to listen to Prince's insults, to see Morality smiling brightly until he appeared, to hear Logic trying to calm Thomas. Because he had to be strong enough. He ignored the pain that came and focused on keeping Thomas safe. Because that's what he was doing after all.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me ya wimps.
> 
> So, like I said, this ended up way longer than expected so I split it into 2 parts. Was originally one but it was like 7,000 words long so I decided to make it only 3,000 something words each.  
> Enjoy!


	8. Lost and Found (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're lost."  
> "I'm right here."  
> "It's okay."  
> "You're acting weird."  
> "I was lost once too."
> 
> Virgil was lost once. Oh so very lost. So lost that even he couldn't find himself.
> 
> My version of the history between Virgil and Deceit.
> 
> Second Part!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> *Manipulative friendship  
> *Self deprecating/hateful thoughts  
> *Anxiety attacks

Deceit's voice whispered in his ear during the videos, reminding him to keep his guard up, not to smile or he'd be ripped to shreds, not to feel. Telling him the feeling that came from holding Princey's hand was disgust. That Morality's smiles made him want to vomit instead of smile back. That Logic's facts were annoying instead of calming.  
And Anxiety was fine to listen. He occasionally went further than Deceit wanted and his hand would act on it's own accord, slamming over his mouth and shutting him up. It was Deceit's way of saving him. Which he was grateful for. Until the subjects of names came up.  
Logic became Logan. Fitting.  
Creativity became Roman. A name that replayed in Anxiety's head for a few days.  
Morality became Patton. A fitting and adorable name for the dad.  
But he was still Anxiety. Just Anxiety. Which Deceit loved to remind him of.  
"Anxiety. A fitting name. It's all he is, which isn't much." He sneered with Logan's voice.  
"My dark strange son." Patton's voice laughed. "As if I could ever love a monster like you, one who doesn't even have a name."  
"Of course he doesn't have a name. He's a dark side. I would give anything to drive my sword through his heart, although I don't think he has one." Laughed Roman.  
Anxiety's brain was clouded with thoughts, to the point where he was barely paying attention in the videos anymore. He just let the anger roll out in his words. One video, they decided to change him into Thomas' friends. As much as it may have calmed him to see his friends, he didn't like the feeling of change. Change meant unknown factors. Unknown dangers.  
And yet, part of him wanted to answer them when they asked his name. Maybe change wouldn't be so scary then. He tried, but before the words were fully out of his mouth again, his body was jerked to the side, shifting and shrinking back into Talyn's form. His breath shortened as he said their name. None of the others had done it and he hadn't and yet.  
_-I’m protecting you.-_ Deceit whispered in his ear. _-They'll never accept you. I know what's best. Whatever name you've given yourself isn't real.-_  
And so his name remained a mystery. The next video came and Thomas ignored his protests against flying, instead allowing him to be animated hovering in the air.  
"Oh look, I'm the bad guy." He groaned before Thomas 'fought' him. The punches didn't hurt, or even truly hit him, but they caused him to fall towards the ground. He nearly screamed before Roman caught him, smiling down at him with that signature Prince smile.  
"Don't worry, everyone loves the villain." He smirked.  
"Oh bother." Anxiety hissed. His cheeks were growing hot but his stomach had a knot in it from his words.  
Villain. That was what he was, wasn't it?  
He knew he was. So why did it hurt so much?  
When he appeared back in his room after the video, Deceit wasn't waiting for him as he usually was to go over all of his mistakes. He couldn't help but feel grateful, which sent a wave of guilt over him. He shouldn't feel that way. Of course he'd somehow even mess up friendship.  
He felt hot tears stinging his eyes as he dropped onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow. He had no idea how long he lay there but at one point, a knock came at his door. He wiped is eyes quickly as he sat up and hurried to the door. As expected, the yellow scaled face greeted him.  
"Anxiety?" He asked, eyeing his face. "Were you... crying?" The dark clad personality remained silent, which sent Deceit laughing, a laugh that crawled under his skin. "Awe, the poor baby finally realized he's a villain so now he's gonna cry."  
"I wasn't, I was just-" Deceit waved his hand, making Anxiety's mouth clamp shut before he could defend himself.  
"Are we lying now?" He smirked. "You forget, that's my speciality. Now, if you're done blubbering, you're going to give me some power."  
Anxiety raised an eyebrow, his mouth still held shut.  
"You heard me right. You need to help me grab control of Thomas like you do. I can't do it alone."  
~Don't~ A voice whispered. Not Deceit, but not him either. Someone new.  
There was a sudden bolt of energy that invaded Anxiety and his senses were suddenly screaming. Everything about his friend was setting off his anxiety. His smirk, his eye practically glaring into his soul, even just the way his friend stood.  
~He's not your friend.~ The voice whispered.  
Anxiety steeled himself and shook his head and Deceit glared at him  
"What do you mean no?" Deceit growled. "You can't say no to me. I helped you become what you are. I made you.!" The man's anger seemed to loosen his control on Anxiety's mouth because his next thoughts were finally spoken.  
"You made me a villian!" He spat, surprised by his own boldness. "You made them hate me. You made me nameless!"  
"Made you nameless? And what name would you have used? Virgil? Please, it's ridiculous! It's a fake name for a fake side!"  
"You--- You knew? You knew I had a name and you let me think-" "Yes, I knew of your little headphones. And I didn't make you think anything. You did that part to yourself." Deceit said dismissively. "You were born a dark side. I just showed you how to control it. I showed you how to take care of Thomas."  
"Take care of him? I give him anxiety attacks. I keep him from doing what he needs to! I don't help him at all!"  
"Come on Anxiety, are you seriously telling me that you want to be a light side, the ones who do nothing but hurt you? That you'll abandon me and leave me all alone for them?"  
"I'm not-" His fists clenched his sleeves as he struggled to keep his tears back.  
"Come on kiddo!" Deceits face contorted and changed into Patton's. "You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?"  
~Lies~ The mysterious voice said gently.  
Anxiety blinked in confusion. Things were off on Patton's face, things so subtle but now so obvious to him. His face was sharper, his hair falling flatter, and his eyes were cold. He jerked backwards, crying out in shock.  
"You're not him." He breathed. "You're not Patton. You're a lie."  
~Good.~ The gentle voice praised.  
The face contorted into Logan's but so obviously Deceit this time that he gave a small, breathless laugh. He could see now. Whatever energy had struck him had-  
Before his triumphant thought could finish, it was Roman staring at him and his breath caught in his throat. Roman's eyes were dark, so different from the eyes that had looked at him only hours before when he caught him out of the air. His anger suddenly rose higher than he ever felt before.  
"No." He growled. "He doesn't look at me like that. You can't.. You can't make me think that anymore. They don't hate me."  
"They do." Deceit laughed, his voice coming from Roman's mouth. "They wish you were dead. I'm your only friend!"  
Anxiety's confidence was quickly waning as Deceit's voice grew louder, in both his head and outside it. It drowned out the gentle voice, overcoming all of his thoughts. Deceit advanced on him, sending him stumbling backwards into his room. His legs gave out from under him as he did, and he ended up on the floor with Deceit towering over him. He shuddered, closing his eyes tightly, and braced himself for the blow that would come, either physically or verbally. Instead, a new voice came.  
"Alright sweetie, that's enough. You need to learn to play nice." The voice was bright but held a threatening note under it. There was a sharp tug and the floor dissolved under him, only to solidify again as a soft material.  
Anxiety forced his eyes open, ignoring that his chest was still heaving. He was curled on a bed that appeared to take up most of whatever room he was in. A version of Thomas was standing with his back to him, his fists clenched tightly around some kind of foam cup. The new side felt his eyes and turned, his fist relaxing and a smile on his face.  
It was someone Anxiety had never seen before. He was the same height as Thomas, his hair messy like Anxiety's but more like he'd been asleep than just naturally messy. Sunglasses kept him from seeing the man's eyes but he noticed he had a few freckles splashed across the bridge of his nose and his smile was bright.  
"Girl, you're lucky I got there when I did." He said loudly, causing Anxiety to flinch and shrink back against the pillows. The side winced and waved his hand, conjuring a familiar pair of headphones and his phone onto the bed, which he eyed warily. "Don't worry." The side's voice was much quieter now. "I won't hurt you. I don't want you passing out from an attack either."  
Anxiety pulled the items to his chest protectively as the side settled in a beanbag a few feet away from the bed and started scrolling through his phone. He slipped them on his head and chose a random song from his playlist, never taking his eyes off the lounging side. After a few minutes, he felt himself calming down, getting lost in the music.  
He could vaguely hear the other talking about him from somewhere but he turned up the music to drown them out. He wasn't in any state to talk to them. When the other side seemed to deem him fit, he slowly made his way to the bed. Anxiety moved one side of his headphones, allowing him to still hear his music from the other side.  
"Let's start over." Now that he was calmer, Anxiety was sure he had heard his voice somewhere. "I'm Sleep. Sorry I scared you by pulling you out like that but that was just turning pretty bad. I should've asked but Deceit... He's not your friend no matter what he told you."  
Anxiety blinked, his mind whirling into overdrive. "You." He breathed. "I heard you in my head. You made me stand up to him."  
Sleep chuckled lightly. "Nah, that was all you. I just pulled some of your tiredness away, let you see what was really there."  
Anxiety shuddered. "Well, thanks for that." Sleep nodded.  
"So, what's your name?" He asked curiously and Anxiety shifted uncomfortable.  
"Anxiety." He said softly.  
"No, your real name."  
"I... I don't have one. Dark sides don't get names." Sleep gave a small growl, making Anxiety's eyes widen. "Is that what he told you? Oh, now I wish I'd put him to sleep for more than a few hours." He took a breath and his voice lost the anger. "He lied. About a lot of things. All sides get names when they form. And "dark side" isn't what you are. Not entirely anyway. You're also a main side, which means you can't be completely dark."  
"Main side?" Anxiety asked softly. "But... all the main sides help Thomas and I just- Oh!" He glanced around worriedly, searching for the tremors that always wracked the mindscape during and after an attack. "No, did I send him into an attack? I didn't-"  
"Girl, you don't have to worry about that here." Sleep assured him. "We're in a safe bubble. Thomas can't feel you at all here."  
Anxiety nodded slowly. "Good. That's good. He won't have to feel me ever again. I can just duck out and never cause him problems again."  
"B, are you tripping?" Sleep asked in astonishment. "You're a main side. You can't just leave."  
"He'd be better without me." He whispered softly. Sleep sighed and leaned closer to him.  
"Is this you thinking or is it Deceit?" Anxiety frowned at the question, which seemed to be enough of an answer. "You need to start thinking for yourself. You don't seem to realize just how much they care for you." A loud thump caught both of their attentions and Anxiety suddenly heard the other's voices grow much louder.  
"They're in your room." Sleep observed.  
"They're in my room!" Anxiety cried, practically falling off the bed. "They can't-"  
"Then stop them." Sleep said simply. "Get them out before they get hurt."  
Anxiety blinked in shock. "They won't listen."  
"You can try." Sleep said gently. "You want to protect Thomas. So do it."  
Anxiety nodded and focused all his energy on his room. He appeared suddenly in it, and noticed several things at once. His room had changed to Thomas' living room, his eyeliner had been replaced by eyeshadow (Which he later found was due to the high amounts of Anxiety he was feeling and it stayed after that), and they were all here. All of them.  
"What are you doing in my room?" He snapped, causing them all to scream. He had to get them out. If Deceit was still here.... But they wouldn't listen. They argued and stalled with conversation. Claiming they needed him or they didn't. Why couldn't they just listen? And suddenly, the panic in the room spiked and he watched his energy invade the others, much like he did to Thomas. It was driving them away from themselves and closer to his mindframe. Now he really had to get them out.  
He ignored how loud and corrupted his voice was as he instructed Thomas on how to drag them all out. He ignored their surprised and slightly awe-struck looks as they reappeared in the real world. He tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling he got when Thomas promised to listen to him but he couldn't.  
"Wait!" He interrupted Thomas' outro. He buried his face in his hands instantly, not believing he had spoken. "Oh boy, I'm actually considering it."  
"What?"  
"You've kinda made me want to open up to you, but big surprise, I'm really anxious about it." He expected Deceit's voice to invade his head, stop him from speaking but his head was blissfully empty for once.  
"Anxious!" Patton said with a goofy grin. "Like your name."  
"Yep that was-eh that... you're great Patton." He stuttered, surprised by the genuine kindness in the personality's eyes.  
Why had he never seen it before? Was it real?  
"But... actually... on the subject of my name..."  
"Shut up." Roman said quickly. Virgil flinched a little but the Prince's voice was angry, instead more filled with shock.  
"Oh, that's okay." Logan reassured him. "No pressure. If you don't want to-"  
"Logan." Patton cut him off, looking at the younger. "Shut your ever-flapping gobtalker, okay?"  
"No pranks, or misleading?" Thomas asked warily and Anxiety winced. He had given his host many reasons to be suspicious.  
"Not this time." God he was terrified. His stomach was churning and his heart was beating so fast he almost expected another attack. What if Deceit had been right? They would hate him. They would laugh. "Oh man, why did we have to have a heartfelt moment?" He groaned.  
"It's totally fine, this is an accepting environment." Patton assured him. "But I have to tell you that I have been theorizing on it for a very long time, so if it's not the exact name that I think it is, I will lose it."  
"O..kay." Virgil said slowly, not entirely sure if he was joking or not. "Promise you won't laugh though."  
"Of course not." Thomas answered immediately.  
"My name...." His voice caught. No, he couldn't do this. Deceit had been right, he was different. His name wasn't like the others' and maybe that meant it wasn't real. They would reject him and-  
His thoughts stopped as he glanced around. They were looking at him, with curiosity rather than their normal annoyance. Patton was smiling, Logan was leaning closer, Thomas was staring, and Roman was trying not to lean too close. For the first time, he didn't feel Deceit pulling him back. He wasn't truly as afraid as before. Maybe just this once...  
"My name is Virgil!" He cried before he could stop himself. "Okay.. it's like a band-aid. You just gotta rip it off."  
Silence met his words and he shrunk into his jacket worriedly. No, they were all staring now.  
"Virgil?" Logan repeated slowly, which caused Roman to chuckle. Virgil had to stifle a small whine that threatened to escape.  
Mistake! his brain screamed. He had ruined everything. Everything-  
"But, that doesn't end with an 'an' or an 'on'." Patton noted. "Shouldn't it be something like.. Virgin?"  
Roman seemed unable to contain his laughter, which send Virgil's stomach flipping again. He didn't blame Patton for pointing out the thing he had wondered a hundred times but it still hurt a little.  
Thomas stopped Roman's laughter easily, letting him relax slightly.  
"I think it's an awesome name!" His host beamed.  
"It's not what I anticipated, but I do like it." Logan nodded.  
"It's different, but I like that it's different." Patton smiled.  
"It was... unexpected, but it took a lot to trust us with that information." Roman said gently. " _Virgil_."  
Something about the sound of his name coming from the Prince's mouth sent a shiver up his spine, which he wasn't sure was a good or a bad thing.  
"You can call me Virge." He added, a smile on his face as the video ended and a fuzzy feeling replacing the butterflies in his stomach.  
Even as the others visited his room, the fuzzy feeling remained. Because they accepted him. They didn't hate him or want to chase him away. Sure, there was a lot of room to grow, but for the first time in his life, he felt like he had friends. Not friends like Deceit, but friends who truly cared for him.  
Sleep came around a few times after that, mostly to check on him. He became Remy. Virgil was grateful for his laidback attitude as they talked, particularly after Roman and Logan would fight.  
Patton loved him in his own way. Despite the uncomfortable feeling that came from his many nicknames, he truly cared for Virgil. He was kind and accepting of whatever he needed to talk about.  
Roman was nicer now. He curved his nicknames and took to actually talking to him instead of fighting. Virgil still had no idea what the strange feeling he got from the fanciful side was but he accepted it. Because he cared. And yet, he seemed so closed off. Almost.. afraid.  
Logan was always the first to calm him down, giving him facts and statistics that could extinguish some of his more wild worries. He wasn't the best at emotions, but he started taking Virgil's opinions into account more than before. Until he started slipping away.  
Virgil recognized the look in his eyes. He'd seen it every time he had looked in the mirror. Lost. He didn't know that anyone cared for him. He didn't know as much as he thought he did.

\---------------------------------

"You're lost." He sang softly.  
"I'm right here." Logan said in confusion, sliding back into his normal spot.  
"It's okay." Virgil continued gently.  
"You're acting weird." Logan leaned away from him a little, which would've stung if he didn't know what was going on.  
"I was lost once too." Virgil admitted, dropping his eyes to the ground. "But, thanks to all of you, life sucks less now."  
"We're your best pals!" Roman, Thomas, and Patton sang in unison, earning a smile from him.  
"No on wants to be a joke." He told Logan gently.  
"But a life free of jokes is incomplete."  
As Roman asked to join the song, Virgil noticed Logan smiling a little.  
"I've got an issue that feels new-school. I don't wanna say I'm too cool. But, I'm just too fab for you fools, And I feel like you don't get me." Virgil rolled his puppet eyes.  
"You insulted us while venting." Thomas pointed out.  
"Sorry." Roman winced.  
"It's alright, Princey. Honestly, it didn't hurt me. It's clear you're the one that's hurting."  
"Huh?"  
"You feel low." Virgil sang before he could stop himself, ignoring Roman's protest.  
"It's okay." Patton assured him.  
"You don't need to save face."  
"In almost any case," Virgil sang before Patton joined him. "We embrace you."  
"That's rich." Roman grumbled and Virgil suddenly wished he was closer to him.  
"No one hates you." He promised, causing Roman to meet his eyes.  
"Everybody's got flaws." He sang with Thomas and Patton.  
"But, with no you at all, I'm incomplete." Thomas sang softly.  
Roman brightened as Patton did and Virgil smiled as Thomas finally seemed to see the reasoning of the song.  
"There! Now you see." The three sides sang. "Everybody goes wrong, And we put it in song So it's easier To hear it."  
"This puzzle's tough, I'll admit, But, in time, we'll find where everything fits." Patton promised.  
Virgil smiled softly. It was a puzzle, and a big one, but they were finding all the pieces. He had mostly found his footing, even if the ground shook sometimes. Now, he had to help the others find their places. It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me my pals  
> Oh this was a long one. Gosh, I honestly didn't expect it to go that way. Oh well, Hope you liked it!


	9. Anxiety's Abnormal Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's birthday is today and while he is glad he's not alone, the attention is a little overwhelming. Roman turns out to be a rather good distraction. Especially when he's singing Brendon Urie's songs.  
> Could be taken as Prinxiety and Logicality or just close friendships. Really, I don't care which it's read as because I kind of wrote it as both.  
> (Can you tell I had no idea where I was actually going while writing this?)  
> Don’t read this. I was sleep deprived while writing it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> *A very light description of the beginnings of an anxiety attack (nothing too heavy)

Anxiety's Abnormal Birthday  
Birthdays were an odd thing for the sides. As Logan often pointed, they didn't technically have birthday as they were never born, and if they did, it would most likely be on Thomas' birthday. And yet, even their host had taken to celebrating their respective "birthdays" on certain days.  
Patton: January 15th  
Roman: June 4th  
Logan: November 3rd  
Virgil: December 19th  
And while it was an odd tradition, it was interesting to see the art and edits the fanders submitted to wish them happy birthday's or see the memories Thomas had of their character concepts flash on the large flat screen in the common room. Because, after all, even if they had indeed been around and part of Thomas for much longer than they'd been characters, he had still created how they looked inside his mind and it transferred onto their body's when they manifested themselves. Trying to explain how that was even possible is enough to give anyone a headache and isn't really relevant to this story so hopefully the author will stop rambling and actually get on with the story soon.  
So yes, they celebrated their birthday's in an odd way but it was just what they did. And now, it was a chilly December day-  
Chilly. Virgil thought with a small roll of his eyes. It was 70 degrees in most of Florida, even now after the sun had set. But he supposed it was chilly in other places of the world so he didn't voice his opinions to the fanders who had drawn him in a snow covered field or written him in a christmas wonderland.  
Because despite their different interpretations of him, they were all for him. Celebrating him, his existence, and that left a strange feeling in his chest. Not bad, far from it actually, but a rather new feeling that he was still learning to accept. Despite the fanders love for him, his feelings about this day were rather dismal.  
Being the center of attention was never really something he wanted so he was a little uncomfortable in the spotlight, a ball of panic planting in his chest from the moment the clock hit midnight. Patton had woken them all up early and created some pancakes for them (which Thomas was eating in the real world as well) that were made just to Virgil's liking. Logan offered a quick happy birthday and a slightly awkward side-hug before settling down to watch Patton cook. The fatherly figure beamed and teased and hugged the anxious personality until he was tempted to sink out and surprise Thomas if only to escape him.  
He felt guilty for thinking that. After all, Patton only wanted to make him feel special and it wasn't his fault he had trouble seeing it sometimes.  
Thankfully, Logan seemed to notice the way the darker personality squirmed in Patton's embrace, being quite aware of the slight uncomfortableness that came with such sudden affection, because he quickly directed the cardigan clad personality's attention towards the oven that he had quietly flicked back on, causing the small bit of pancake batter on the pan to begin burning.  
Virgil flashed the older personality a thankful glance as he nodded and returned to his book. Perhaps that was another reason Virgil felt rather exposed on his birthday. He was reminded again how he was the youngest, the last to take a form because it was not as necessary that he have a form as it was for the others. If he had heard his thoughts, Logan would have reminded him that they were all technically the same age, despite the difference of time between gaining physical forms.  
And yet, Virgil remained silent and didn't voice any of his concerns so Logan remained silent, reading his book. While Patton was distracted trying to scrape the burnt pancake mix off and Logan was distracted trying to convince him that he wasn't going to hurt the pan by scraping it because THE PAN DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS, Virgil slipped away from the table.  
He took a minute to breathe, grateful to have escaped their grips before he began to show his true panic. Their attention made him just want to hide away back in his room. And the seemingly never ending stream of art being tweeted at Thomas wasn't helping his fear. Social anxiety? Did it count as that when he wasn't even truly around these people? He was too tired to think about it right now. He hadn't slept the night before (and Remy had seemingly taken a leave of absence and wasn't around to help him) so he it didn't help his growing uncomfortableness.  
He slunk back towards his room with the stance of a scared alley cat, only to practically slam into a bright eyed Roman. A quick glance as he stumbled told him he was in front of the royal's room, the personality hadn't even had a chance to close his door before being knocked into, his room being farther down the hallway. Was he really walking that slowly?  
"Virgil?" The creative side gasped, quickly hiding one hand behind his back and using the other to steady the other personality.  
"What-, uhh, hey Roman." He'd be lying if he said the Prince's absence at breakfast went unnoticed. Far from it actually. Logan had even commented,  
"You might break your neck if you keep looking over your shoulder like that." Which had stilled the anxious side as he tried to quell his blush.  
"I thought Patton was making breakfast. I didn't miss it, did I?" Roman asked with a frown.  
"No, no, you didn't miss anything. I just... didn't feel like eating I guess." Virgil shrugged, fingering with the hem of his sleeve.  
"Oh." Roman said softly and Virgil winced. The creative personality was rather good at seeing his lies.  
His chest tightened a little more as that word flashed in his mind. No, he wasn't lying, he couldn't. That would mean.... It would give power to.... his mind refused to even think the name anymore. No, he wasn't lying. He hadn't felt like eating so it wasn't a lie.  
"Kiddos?" Patton's voice floated from the kitchen curiously. "Is that you two? Come on in here, we're going to take some pictures and sing Happy Birthday."  
Virgil's instincts kicked in and he grabbed Roman's free hand as he ducked into the creative sides room and pulled him after him, practically kicking the door closed as he did. The moment the door clicked closed, Virgil's mind caught up and he dropped Roman's hand like it burned him. The princely personality couldn't help but laugh.  
"I take it you're not a big fan of people singing to you?" He teased easily as he turned his back to Virgil and slipped whatever he had been hiding inside his dresser drawers. Well, it was more of a vanity, which Virgil wasn't very surprised by. The room wasn't what he expected but it fit Roman very well. A bed was nestled in the corner with a large desk covered in papers and a lamp that looked like it had never been turned off next to it. Disney posters filled the 3 of the walls but the fourth wall, directly across from the door and adjacent to the bed held a raised area with boxes of props stacked around it and costumes hung on a wrack to the side of it. A stage for a Prince. Fitting. His mind finally processed Roman's question as the prince chuckled again.  
"I'm fine with singing, just not that particular song." Virgil said, lacking better words to explain it. Roman sent him a curious glance and Virgil scrambled to explain. "I just... I don't really like today. I mean, it's nice what Patton is doing but... it's just..."  
"Overwhelming?" Virgil eyed him in shock and Roman shrugged. "I've seen that look in your eyes before Virge. You look like you're cornered. Not in a bad way! I just mean that you look kind of.. scared I guess." Virgil ducked his head, slightly embarrassed that he was so easily read.  
"Attention isn't really my thing." He grumbled, still not looking at Roman.  
That look in the creative personality's eyes sent his stomach into butterflies. After all, Roman practically lived in the spotlight, he had a damn stage in his room, so he didn't want to read too far into the pity and annoyance that he was certain would lie there.  
Roman's hand nudged him gently, and when he raised his eyes, he was met not with pity, but with a smile and a sleeve that obviously held a record disk. "Well, then I'll give this to you now instead of when Patton finds us and drags us out there."  
Virgil took it and turned it over in his hand to see that the cover. He blinked in surprise as he saw the cover read that it was the Death of a Bachelor album by Panic! at the Disco.  
"I know you probably own it on your phone but I figured I'd get you this too. I mean, if you don't like it i can change it and-"  
"I... I like it a lot Roman." He said with a smile. True, he wouldn't have ever asked for it, but it was an interesting gift and one that he didn't mind at all.  
Roman's face lit up and he quickly pulled it away from Virgil and ducked behind him, pulling out a record player from somewhere in the stack of props and items piled around the stage. He guided the needle carefully until one of the many familiar strains of music hit Virgil's ears.  
"Well, if I can't sing Happy Birthday to you, I'll settle for singing your emo music." Roman laughed over the opening music as he leapt onto the stage.  
"Why this song?" Virgil laughed and Roman shrugged.  
"I like the beat. Would you rather I do something more depressing?" He asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief as Virgil shook his head.  
"Oh don't you wonder when the light begins to fade?" Roman sang, picking up the lyrics easily as Virgil settled on the creative side's bed. Honestly, he was glad for the distraction and he could already feel the panic in his chest dissipating. And it helped that Roman was a rather good singer. (Technically, they could all sing as they were part of Thomas but Roman was best at it)  
"And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey  
Forever younger growing older just the same  
All the memories that we make will never change  
We'll stay drunk, we'll stay tan, let the love remain  
And I swear that I'll always paint you,  
Golden days!" Roman's smile grew larger as Virgil absentmindedly mouthed along to the words and the creative side continued to flamboyantly perform.  
"Golden days!  
Golden days!"  
"Glad you like my performance." Roman said, tossing his head like he had hair to flip which made Virgil laugh over the music.  
"I'm just amazed you know the words." Virgil teased.  
"I bet they never even thought about  
The glitter dancing on the skin  
The decades might've washed it out  
As the flashes popped like pins, hmm" Roman continued before laughing, "Your walls aren't as thick as you think."  
Virgil's face turned red as Roman repeated the chorus before jumping off the stage as the song slowed and came closer to the end.  
"Time can never break your heart  
But It'll take the pain away  
Right now our future's certain  
I won't let it fade away. Sing with me Virgil!"  
"Golden days " He smirked down at Virgil, waiting for him to join in.  
"Golden days" Virgil shook his head and Roman furrowed his eyebrows before his expression turned to puppy eyes that could rival Patton's.  
"Golden days" Virgil sighed before lifting his voice to join Roman's.  
"Golden days  
Golden days!  
Golden days!  
Golden days!"  
As the song ended, Roman moved the needle away so that the room became quiet for a moment before he broke into laughter and Virgil followed, granted, quieter. Roman dropped onto the bed beside him, his feet still planted on the floor as he sprawled across it. Eventually, his laughter quieted and his eyes trained on Virgil.  
"I've decided." He proclaimed, which earned him a curious look. "I like you smiling better than I like you brooding." Virgil rolled his eyes and shoved Roman as best as he could, which only caused the older side to laugh again. "Seriously, it's nice to see you smile. I'm glad you like your birthday present."  
Virgil blinked slowly. "I- ya, I guess I did like it. Although, now I expect a full performance every time I listen to it." The words popped out of his mouth before he could stop them but thankfully, Roman smiled. For some reason, his smile caused that fuzzy feeling in his chest to come back again, but more intense. Maybe he still had to get used to being accepted and liked for once.  
"Sure, but you've got to sing along sometimes. You'd be more convincing as Brendon Urie anyway."  
Virgil smiled down at Roman and opened his mouth to reply when a knock on the door startled them both. Roman shot up suddenly and knocked their heads together, which he furiously apologized for before yelling, "Who is it?" while rubbing his forehead.  
"It's just me kiddo!" Patton said happily. "We've still got pancakes if you want some." He said and the fatherly personality smiled as Roman promised to come down soon. He moved back into the kitchen and fished in the freezer for an ice pack.  
"Is someone hurt?" Logan asked curiously from his position at the table.  
"I think I interrupted Roman giving Virgil a birthday present or something." Patton chuckled. "I think they might have some bruises soon."  
Logan squinted his eyes at the cardigan wearing personality with an odd look on his face. "What- why?"  
"Oh, I think I scared them, it sounded like they hit heads or something. Why, what did you think I meant?"  
"Nothing." Logan said quickly, ducking his gaze back onto his book and Patton shrugged, ignoring the red creeping onto Logan's face. Birthday's were always interesting time's for the Sanders Sides, even if they didn't always like them. Or understand what was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roast me, I can take the criticism but don't make it too harsh because I cry whenever I notice a spelling mistake (Obviously kidding). I know this isn't one of my best because I'm kind of sleep deprived and also had 0 idea where this was going but I hope its at least bearable!
> 
> I would like to apologize for not posting in a while. I am actually about 1/3 of the way done with the third (and last) part of the Scales (and Arpeggios) universe that is based around a plot given to me by Prplzorua but I have kind of been lacking in motivation (And I actually turned 16 back on the second so it's been a little distracting). Really, Virgil's birthday kind of kick started me but IDK how long this motivation will last. I am aiming to get that chapter up before New Years but I can't make any promises.


End file.
